Spontaneity and Afterthoughts

25 Random Things About me!

2009-06-15T00:35:00.000-07:00

Dear GoofyMumma had tagged me a life time ago but the procrastinator just wasn't able to come up with the list. But after what seems an infinity and late nights I have come up with this list. Hope you appreciate the effort cause I had to scratch myself sour to come up with the list. Phew!! But me to got to know some bits about myself. WINKS!!
So here it goes....

1. I have a habit of nonstop bickering with people close to me- my parents and SH think of me as "The Sadist" they can’t live without while friends see a funny jester who always makes them laugh. Bottom line: Don’t get close to me.

2. I love animals especially dogs, but around the Bay Area every time I approach a dog I ask the owner if he bites which sometimes annoys the owner. - Bottom line: I am annoying, not always.

3. I am a creative person and will do anything to be surrounded with anything that has to do with art, culture and creativity so music (vocal/instrumental), dancing (Indian/western), craft/needlework, writing, recitation, photography and Photo Shop, all of these are my interests - Bottom line: I am over imaginative and delusional.

4. I am generally late for appointments. - Bottom line: I don’t like waiting alone.

5. My first job was as math tutor for grade 8 even though I am scared of math. - Bottom line: I am a daring person.

6. I love reading all kinds of literature available, I love television, I love the radio and I love my I pod. - Bottom Line: I am confused about my choices.

7. Although I am a God Fearing person I am not disciplined enough to practice my puja rituals every day. - Bottom line: I have no self determination and good habits do not suit me.

8. I still have the same best friend since class four. - Bottom line: I don't take to changes easily or probably my friend is my blankie???

9. I miss my beloved doggie Zubi-Zubi very much and although he is no more with us I sometimes feel he is there with me. - Bottom Line: I just hope he knew how much he means to me.

10. My tongue sometimes does not coordinate with my brains. Bottom line: I have often said stuff that makes me bite my tongue.

11. I can listen to a favorite song the whole day, whole week, whole month till I can count each break, breathe, and every note is perfect. – Bottom Line: that’s just one example of many OCDs.

12. I don’t like people who are too formal, over familiar, talkative, who are not funny, or are hyper, who are trying too hard for don’t know what! Bottom line: I have few friends

13. I have a closet (small one) full of dresses I don’t fit into but will not part with. Bottom line: I am a greedy, selfish person.

14. I spent 10 years in a boarding school and couldn't wait to get out and once the boards exams got over I knew what I will miss all my life. - Bottom Line: I am a tube light.

15. I have had meaningful conversations with an Iguana and a turtle respectively. - Bottom line: I love animals and they are attracted to me ;-)

16. I have seen a live volcano and flew over it on a helicopter. Bottom line: It’s was such a thrilling experience I have to tell it every time I get an opportunity

17. I have a habit of only sharing good news with most of the people, the troubles and hardships are not discussed with many if any. Bottom line: Few people have access to the core.

18. I love sleeping but I don’t like going to bed early. - Bottom line: I am controversial.

19. I have married the same person twice in the same year but went for a honeymoon after two years. Bottom line: Yup, He is being punished for that at all times.

20. I am hot tempered, short tempered, temperamental, angry vicious person. Bottom line: I said he is being punished na!

21. I love playing Tetris and Sudoku online. - Bottom line: I am prone to addictions.

22. My proudest moment was when I rented my own place in CRPark, Delhi and could afford to pay all my bills. Bottom Line: I draw inspiration from those days so bear me and my repetitions.

23. During school days I was a good hockey player and was an excellent middle distance runner. – Bottom line: I love to brag about my popularity days. SIGH!

24. I love bread and butter; rice and mutton; roomali roti and kebabs; besan ka laddo and boonde ke laddu (Ritz, Lucknow) and this list could go on but…. Bottom line: I am fat.

25. I am lazy. Am I repeating myself? Well, that means it’s the most important thing you need to know about me. Bottom Line: I AM SPONTANEOUS LAZYBUM MINI!!

Not tagging anyone. You are welcome to share your thoughts though :-)

A Perfect Saturday is...

2009-06-14T02:17:00.000-07:00

You get up at 9am without rush; switch on the TV to watch the weekly Hindi programs. Sit and watch Shahrukh dance and ogle at John Ibrahim in New York teasers. Make some “Illaichi waali chai”. Sip it while watching Mallika Sherawat’s in “HISSSS” teasers. Between sips agree with spouse on what an awesome “cha-maker” you are and plan the day. Should you go to Costco to buy the cleaning stuff because you are out of Clorox wipes and also want some mushrooms and “palak”. Or go to the Indian grocery for “gobi” of both kinds for the coming week’s veggie quota. Don’t you need to go to the library to pick the golf DVD and also return those cords that won’t work with the laptop?

All the while thinking about the wonderful weather that’s happening outside- make use of it before it turns all temperamental once again. One of you will suggest chucking all the chores- stuff and driving to the beach. The other one will pick the good opportunity for a fight and get proactive. Will continue fighting over breakfast, washing and while getting ready (to go out some place yet a wonder). Then realize it’s too late to prepare lunch and one will suggest the Indian Vegetarian buffet thinking about the malai koftas, the other will agree promptly thinking about the yum vegetarian pizza and no hanging in the kitchen. Drive together thinking of the entire list to be taken care of, then drool over the awesome food laid in front of us.

Start with chaat papri, dahi-vadas, cold slaw and macaroni. Then move towards pav bhaji, puri-allo, pakoras and the VEG PIZZA. Then the main course consisting of chowmein, Manchurian gobi, veg pulao, malai koftas, and navratan korma. Nope, we are not done yet. Dessert consists of samplers of pastries, fruit cakes, sweet buns, cookies and gajar ka halwa.

Yes, the fight is over and the decision is made.

Content and happy you head towards the beach. To the very beach that was in news the previous day that a family of gray whales had decided to make this their home for quite some time. The weather is cooperative and the blue horizon in sight. We decide to walk on the trail instead of walking on the sand. As you walk uphill on the trail enamored by the natural garden that keeps unfolding itself- Purple, pink, yellow, white, orange wild flowers everywhere and beyond is the blue-green pacific, with the horizon clear in view. It’s a special day- you are happy being sun stroked instead of fog soaked.

And just like that you see it. Straight and clear in view, the gray whale huffing and puffing and blowing water fountains. You stand still as you take in the truth- you are watching a Gray Whale at its lunch hour. The whale breached twice in a span of 10-15min and then it became elusive, showing itself in irregular periods giving no time to capture the moment in camera. But you do not need this moment in camera this will be forever in your memory. You take the trek to the top of the hill. Sit on the ledge for a long time, and keep a watch for the gray whale to surface while you look at the lone sea lion busy with luncheon on and off.

The day, the ocean, the hills, the flowers, the town itself is perfect.

Then drive along CA-1 for a while and come back home. Have another fresh cup of “illaichi wali chai”, prepare dinner and recall and talk about the times you drove 3 hrs to see the humpback whale and her calf, drove to Point Reyes NP for some whale viewing instead saw a school of dolphins display synchronized performance. And each time just as surprised by the beauty of nature.
Gray whales are added to the list.

It is real and it is perfect.

Some Thoughts...

2009-06-12T11:56:00.000-07:00

What is this about that I miss an opportunity to get to know a new person? What makes me want to keep myself busy enough reading a camera manual just to avoid talking to a person sitting inches from me? And we are forced to share this long, long flight together sitting next to each other. We are not sleepy; we have just the flight shopping magazine to read or left to our own devices. Probably, pretend to be sleeping (it sure works). But still we will not turn to the other person and exchange a warm “HI”. I remember the last time I had to fly alone and how fun the flight was because of the stranger who sat next to me. We talked about our education, profession, and travels and felt so much richer having taken this opportunity to converse. We do not feel the need to exchange names and numbers because we feel we are better friends because of the connection we have made already nothing more is needed. Then the very next moment I am shut to the world, do not want to be a part of any group and prefer being alone all time surrounded by potential friends.

There are days when I love everyone I come across, and everyone seems to adore and compliment me on how cool and friendly I am, and then there are times when I just think that I am above everyone and everything around me. I am not sure how long I have been going through this temperamental tidal but it has been a while since I began to notice my attitude towards certain people at particular times. And don’t ask me to put labels because I do not think I will be able to list any typecasting here. It just happens.

So I wonder what is it that some people become my friends the moment we share the same space. And with some there is such discomfort that even years of circling the same contacts and sharing common friend circles we never get around to be able to carry a conversation on our own.

And the weirdest part of all this is that sometimes this may happen simultaneously. I am friendly to one and covertly hostile to another. Well, I have been on both sides of this story so I guess I may claim to understand how it may feel. Also I have seen that sometimes I don’t get along with people who may actually share more than one common interests or traits with me.

Iwonder and I wonder and some more…

I get Bherry Atyachaar-d, before I get rational!

2009-05-13T13:04:00.000-07:00

There must be infinite things that get me fuming, make me angry, spike me mad.
My emotional atyachaar can be of quite an echelon. I can let it go to such heights that my stress level can break all mercury levels. And thus I have tutored myself into some personal version of rationality, which includes empathizing with the culprit, ignoring the act/fault-person and imagine they no more walk on this earth. And smiling (read grinning ear to ear)helps when nothing goes ones way.
Also I count my lucky stars (10, 20, 30.. 100, 1000.. so on...) that I am not like the person who irks me!!
IHM tagged me to come out with my set of emotional Atyachaar and I am prompt to act on it(3weeks down).
I agree with all that IHM has to say about her “atyachaar list”… in an effort not to repeat I came up with my list with incidental emotions that have made me evaluate myself.

1. People who are constantly hypercritical about others. I sincerely think they don’t give themselves enough time each day and probably need to meditate on themselves rather than nitpick on others. Oh!! They have opinion and advice for everyone but self. Dare anyone do a wrong and they are eager to reprimand with tight slaps and harsh language because they have the copyright to be rude, ill-manners, being judgmental hypercritical and everything gone wrong.

2. I hate eve teasers and perverts who will blame the victim for being beautiful, sexy or simply a woman who actually forced the teaser to eve tease the victim. Really loser!! Do you ever think for a second what the women in your family are going through on a daily basis?

3. I am quite peeved with this thing of always being politically correct. Why should everybody get so touchy all of a sudden? I would prefer people who will speak the truth so that I know whom I am relating myself with. Its far more dangerous if I have to associate with people who believe one and speak another. And so I ask, where do I practice my freedom of speech?

4. I love animals: I can’t understand how people can mistreat, torture and ignore them. I will also never understand people who don’t like animals and pets and that includes my SH too.Birds must not be kept in cages, hamsters and guinea pigs teach kids to be responsible and kind, cows and deer have the most beautiful eyes, the best music is made by whales, dolphins are genius beings, and I will give every wink of sleep and every mouthful for a pup in distress.

5. It beats me to understand people who are sweet on my face and bitch like, that’s what they were born to do in life. These characters make me extremely angry because such kinds have cost me potential relationships, but I feel sorry for them because they need some serious psychiatric help instead are roaming unattended. But that’s where the next point comes.

6. I dislike free advise because most of the time I perceive it as being nosey. If I don’t see you as a family stay out of my family decision. Being a friend and being taken for granted are two separate concepts.

7. I don’t get jealousy, so deal with it. I care a hoot if you have gold plated bathroom fixtures or platinum toilet seats when you plan to do some serious community service and help some needy I will truly understand how invaluable you are.

8. I will never understand wars, executions, violence, robbing helpless people, burglary, rivalry killings, honor killings (what’s so gallant this), wife battery, flogging to retain family respect.- this list has much more to add….

9. I don’t like show offs. Oh Gosh! This one is a never ending list. School friends have turned rivals here. Whose husband earns more, what position they work, how big a house do we have, what signature brands one uses. It’s really sick. Well I don’t really mind them doing it till they start asking me questions.

10. Women not being respected in the society. Women being used as an object, a commodity- used as a mode to take revenge against family, clan, country. Women who is treated as a nobdy then becomes responsible of the family honor, society, clan and so on. Ghar ki izzat, Khandaan ki izzat, honor killing, honor rape, rape as a war weapon, trophy, a cattle who can be sold to feed the rest of her loving family.

11. Racism Vs Casteism Vs Religions Vs Regionism Vs Communism Vs gender bias Vs Sexual orientation Vs Immigrant cultures Vs “what is the melting pot”, Should I go on??? Also this ongoing thing about Indian and Amreeka for me gets to me. Please people I love where I live and this is my home. So don’t ask me if I miss India. I have grown up in a residential school all my life. So I am used to being homesick even in the happiest of times. It will be difficult for people who have not experience a hostel life to understand where my comparison comes. Nothing more to say here (maybe another post in another time)

12. Wrestling, boxing, animal fights in the rings. I sincerely want them to be banned. It’s plain torture for me even to think that people enjoy and pay to watch these events.
Long list, sorry folks. So here is a pic MiNi Louuus and hope you do too Coz this one is for all of you.

The Angel in my house.

(check more here)

I would like to extend the tag to (if they have not done it already)
Roop
Goofymumma (http://goofymumma.blogspot.com/)
Eve’ Lung
Odessa (http://makeshiftwords.blogspot.com/)
Reflections

A Chirpy Twitter.com causes a Roar!!

2009-04-20T15:39:00.000-07:00

Have you noticed the way Twitter is taking the whole celebrity fan following, social do-good, media and communication to an absolute new level? I first noticed Twitter at Lekhni’s blog. I got curious but not enough to join. I was already bored with the couple of social sites I am a part of.

Then Mumbai attack happened. I was informed how Twitter was helping victims, the government, reporters in guiding and accurate real time reporting and maybe even supporting the enemy. I immediately joined twitter because the latest news releases, online broadcast information and instant transmits were announced and available. I kept awake for 2 whole nights, being a passive twitter, reading the available tweets and experienced the feeling of comradeship, being there for my fellow countrymen, it felt like suffering the ordeal along sides with my countrymen even though I was miles away.
But once Mumbai settled as she always does and the hullabaloo mellowed, people went back to their usual ways, my tweet world receded into oblivion, just as my Facebook craze paled and Orkut daily connections loosened.
But my CNN fever is a constant. I adore Anderson Cooper and Don Lemon. And they have something that I call “Twitter obsession” on their News programs. So I had to catch that bug sooner than not. They kept reporting of how McCain was using the Tweet Power to boost his politician ideologies as they used tweet communication to interact with their audiences in real time. This was sure a new way of interaction and inclusion; An oxymoron of “fun and serious” exchange of politico and moral ideas between media front and the public in Real time.

And then Ashton Kutcher took it to another level. He declared that if he reached a million followers before CNN he would donate as many mosquito nets to the malaria cause. CNN joined the race of the good cause and took up the challenge.
Well, Ashton won, Friday morning (17th April) and then Oprah joined the crazy frenzy and made it even crazier. Of course since I am on the Pacific corner of America I was not included into the East Coast real time. I went ahead and followed Oprah and she introduced me to the whole Bandwagon of Celebrities hooked to the Tweet World.
And today as I sit to watch “The View” sipping my cuppa Tea and what I hear?? Barbara Walters who does not want to feel left out of all the twittering Fun Frenzy was going to put her ever first Tweet real time from her..ahem BLACKBERRY(my red blackberry is cuter!!), on the “The View”. This is what she typed as we watched her nimble fingers go Tweet-A-Tweets “ I AM LOSING MY TWEET VIRGINITY”.
The Twitter.com founder was up on Oprah on Friday Live. They are San Francisco based small company of 35 which makes me wonder about their revenue sources.
Anyways, so the world is going all crazy about the tweet. I am kind of surprised about the whole whirlwind that TWITTER.COM has caused enough to blog about it and not study for the terrible test that I have tomorrow.
I am now following about a dozen of my favorites.. Tweetered Ashton and got no reply. But still gotta say it’s fun. I will next tweet Ellen and see if she replies back!! (winkies!!)
See now I am all into it.
ps- Barbara Walters misspelled virginity and had to be corrected. I thought that was funny and yup OK. It makes me feel a whole lot better about myself.

Its been long but I am still here!

2009-03-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

It’s been so long I have not posted. So followers came and then went past. Some blog friends have become good friends and some friends were reintroduced in the blog world.
Lately it seems I have been more on the update mode instead of posting blogs of my days on this precious Earth. So, I thought of taking a break.
The world is spinning at its own will- politics, religion and lust for power. I hear, I read and I comprehend. But I never got down documenting all that has been on my mind- my feelings, my sentiments.
Lost a childhood "so called friend" and in all sincerity it was a good thing.
Watched the Oscars and applauded Rahman for Roja/Bombay more than for "SD".
Watched a number of foreign movies mostly on Indie and Sundance channel and I am falling more and more in love with these movie channels.
Weekends go by partying, dance practices, shopping for our home and then working at our home.My study is shaping up beautifully.
In another week my corner of the world will be fresh and ready to rock. I will be back in the Blogland soon.
But am I even being missed, I wonder? We all know how wonderful it feels when we realize we are wanted and missed. I know, some beautiful people do think of me often.
But I love this place and I miss my blog mates, in ample!

Hosted a Party, Watched the Presidential Inauguration and Still Trying to Comprehend the Indian Political Scene..

2009-01-24T03:38:00.000-08:00

The last 10 days seem like a flash passed by . We celebrated a triple celebration- Birthday, Wedding anniversary and Graduation. We decided to make an elaborate event of it and the planning’s took a whole month which finally was realized last weekend and I would like to think it was a success. I have been stone tired for the last one week. And did I mention I joined a dance group and we had a practice session and I pulled muscles at unmentionable places and my truck tires screamed in protest every time I get up to pick the glass of water. But I tried my best not to miss the gym sessions but then religiously hogged on the leftover chocolate cake so that my body does not miss all the calories that I leave at the elliptical. A musical venture is in the sidelines.

The Presidential inauguration was such a spectacular and such a craze. I have sore eyes because I was rarely blinking during the whole ceremony. Also I must mention the HBO live pre inaugural star studded musical concert against the Lincoln Memorial with every musical whose who and Hollywood stars and sparkle serenading the occasion. It was spectacular and I am glad I was able to catch the repeat the next morning again.
Obama has already put many of his promises into action- He has signed orders for Guantanamo Bay toshutdown within a years time. Our new President supports stem cell research, which brings relief and assurance to Bay Area which has some of the most extensive stem cell research labs. President Obama also supports abortion measures. I appreciate all the measures and also his thoughts on tax respite of tax payers. Although I am not sure about the details but a respite is a good one. One worry for Californians is that the state is going bankrupt so probably no Tax refund checks coming in near future. We are supposedly the richest state in US. Rich going bankrupt- Oxymoron. But this one is no laughing matter to California residents.

What a week this has been. I have had loads of fun and loads of fodder for thoughts too. The blog world has been very active and I feel so outdated and need to gobble all the information. Indian politics is not much different from personal and social politics- arrogance, drama, bad mouthing and being judgmental about everything but self. I have enough matters around my social networks which make me go yikks… But the Indian politics is turning real filmy as of now. And a real C-grade one for that.
But when was it not?

TaG-O-PiC

2009-01-13T21:52:00.000-08:00

I have been very busy the last week and then I caught cold and have a sore throat. All you people who love talking know what a torture it is on “the being”. No talking is even more painful, than pain itself, I declare.I have been going to the gym, planning a graduation party, working around the house, reading like a maniac and joined a dance group. This also meant less laptop time, all of which was spent reading as many blog posts as I could.

I also completed this tag offered by Eve’s Lung.

The rules are simple: Answer the questions below and do a Google image search on your answer, pick a picture from the results on the first page, with minimal explanation.

Although I gave it a slight twist of my own to make it more fun. Since I google everything, I flickr-ed this one. The pictures are courtesy Flickr search. And just to flicker my creative bug, I made a collage of my pictorial answer.

1. The age you will be in your next birthday: Ask the moon.
2. A place you'd like to travel to- Ladakh, Tibet.
3. Your Favorite place- A bright and cozy corner full of books and goodies.
4. Your favorite food/drink: Shammi Kababs and Cocktails, particularly margaritas and pina coladas
5. Your Favorite pet: Doggies, each one of them.
6. Your favorite color combination- Yellow, red, green.
7. Your favorite piece of clothing: Handlooms- cotton weaves, silks, natural wool, embroideries. I drool over all of them.
8. Your all time favorite song: Hazaron khwaishe Aisi- Mirza Galib.
9. Your favorite TV show: Planet Earth and Blue Planet- I have been trying to catch the repeats too.
10. Full name of your significant other: I call him my Super Hero (SH)
11. The town in which you live- Mountain View (Google it ;-))
12. Your screen name/nickname- Spontaneous Mini.
13. Your First job: Math Tutor.
14. Your Dream job: Singer.
15. Bad Habit you have: I am so lazy that I often ditch my lunch.
16. Your worst fear: Being lonely and sad.
17. The one thing you'll like to do before you die: Live on the edge and have lots of fun.
18. The first thing you'll buy if you get $1,000,000: Probably a Dream House with a breath taking view.

Courtesy- Flickr.com
And now you can do the mix and match the pic ans. with the black on white ones!

I would Lou for Goofy Mumma to do this tag (I promise I will do all the tags you want me to). And Piper, Reflections, IHM and Tharini. If you have done already do lemme know pliss.

Reading List- Jan 2009

2009-01-07T15:43:00.001-08:00

To mark how serious I am about my book reading/ reviewing resolution I have decided to chronicle my reading list. Both of us share the love for reading and also like suggesting books for each other. So while I pulled out “The Enchantress of Florence” 2008 by Salman Rushdie for SH, he collected “Reading Lolita in Tehran” 2003 by Azar Nafisi for me from the library.

But that’s not the book that I am reading right now. Currently, I am reading, “The Other Queen” 2008 by Phillippa Gregory. This is the second book by the author that I was able to pick from the library best seller list. Last year, I read “The Other Boleyn Girl” 2001, when I heard they were making a movie based on the book. The author, I assume is obsesed by the very controversial Tudor English Era. She has written six historical fictions based on Tudor Era. "The Other Boleyn Girl" was the first and "the Other Queen" is the lastest.

I also have “The Secret life of Bees” 2002 by Sue Monk Kidd on my night stand. I came to know of the book only when the movie released. And because I like reading more than watching movies I decided to read the story before I sit to watch the movie. This is my reading list for the month.

Also while you are here please do check my shutterbug frenzy here and let me know what you think because it is of much significance.

Better late than never,here is a very beautiful friendship band that IHM gave to all her readers during Xmas. In the same tradition I will pass it on to all blog lovers and friends of peace in honor of a beautiful New Year, 2009.

Resolution 2009

2009-01-06T12:26:00.000-08:00

I do not believe in making resolutions for myself, simply coz determination in keeping good habits is not one of my talents. But this year, I just felt like taking a few baby steps towards good things that bring pleasure- Happy ones which will just keep me going.So here is the very short list.Isn't it?

1. Give more attention to my Book Reviews. Amen.

2. Make new friends. And celebrate the year in honor of good friendships. Hopefully get drunk with friends and keep the torch (glass) of comradeship raised high!

3. Eat more of salad and fruits. Let’s include "Simply Orange" and Apple cider?? Wine? Beer? No seriously Champagne fits right in here.

4. Finally let the trip to the East Coast materialize. Niagara Falls, Times Square, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Washington DC or maybe East coast for me means Florida Keys and Everglades NP.

5. Join a book club or a dance club or a music club or a knitting club at the lib. If I don’t get into one then I will start my own. Or maybe Pub?

6. Treat my hair to regular hot oil massage. Permanent straightening has b(r)ought me a lot of praise but I received enough compliments on my step cut curls too. The memory of the whole process, with 5 hours of torture at the salon makes me faint.

7. Be regular at the gym and remain just as dedicated to Gastronomical indulgences. I can DO it! Ahem!

8. Take up speaking Spanish seriously or write in Bengali beautifully.

9. And probably not be such a gadget annihilator. Thakur, not accident prone to such an extent, please.

10. Complete all the knitting and cross stitch works that I started last year before I pick another project.

2009, work is already cut out for ya!!

All's gonna be Mast and Fine, Here's to 2009!!

2009-01-01T20:47:00.000-08:00

Year 2008, Slides off the exit gate.

We recap, year past and recheck our weight.

With renewed vigor, welcome the New Year,

A better economy, harmony, and kind peer(s).

Pray for peace and love to Allah, God, Ishwar,

All the higher orders you revere

Prayer on my lips and love in my heart, I wish each one,

Good Food, Happy Family Life, Wonderful Friends and Baskets of Fun

Wishing You A Wonderful New Year filled with:-

Happiness and Contentment.

Excitement and Enthusiasm.

Love and Good Spirits.

Better Economy and Financial Liberties!

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Lotsa Love, Luck n' Laughter

Xmas Xcursion Xtc!

2008-12-30T23:42:00.000-08:00

This Year's final Holiday trip was not as grand as last year's (Hawaii) but still was as much fun or maybe more!
Some glimpses of the fun filled moments.

24th Dec. We started after lunch from Bay Area and drove for five hours towards Southern California. Ventura is the name of the city where we had booked our Xmas holiday abode. we stopped once for coffee break in between and reached Ventura at supper time. We had hoped to dine at the hotel itself but they closed early for the holiday. Since we are not big fans of McDonald's and Burger kings we went to the restaurant that the front desk person recommended. We ordered, hot and sour soup, egg rolls, kung pao chicken and rice. One of the worst Chinese we ever had. A revelation since we thought this was near impossible. Disgusted I came back and logged in to Yelp for future assistance.

25th Dec. We woke early morning to a cloudy sky. Denny’s was our savior. I ordered stuffed veggie omelet with muffins. SH ordered a Denny’s Special scrambled eggs and we shared a huge hot mug of chocolate mocha. The beach and harbor were off limits for the day since there was a wind advisory with waves being high - 20fts.
We decided to take a hike over the hills and headed towards nearby hill city Ojai. The drive was picturesque with beautiful hamlets amidst ranches and citrus orchards. The fruit laden trees looked wonderful and very pulp on both the sides of the road. It was soon drizzling and then the drizzle turned into a steady shower so we abandoned the plan to hike, instead decided to get lost among the hills. Just as SH kept meandering through the valley we reached Lake Casitas and on impromptu we decided to take a dekho simply because there was a ticket charge, which meant it had to be good. The rain drops receded by this time but it was windy and bone freezing chill. We braved the cold and spent a good hour walking around the lake watching the ducks and gulls going about their job. Lake Casitas is huge with patches of beaches around it. We gazed at the fall colors and lucky houses with owners who woke up to this view each day. When we got back into the car we realized it was 43F outside(Shivers!!).We drove back late afternoon. A piping hot white chocolate mocha along with holiday ginger and lemon cakes is so Christmas- Yee! The evening went by quickly walking by the harbor.
We headed back to Denny’s for dinner of Grilled Shrimp Skewers and Grilled chicken with rice pilaf, dinner breads and sides. This was rounded off with a hot fudge topping sundae. MERRY CHRISTMAS! We then drove in the direction of Santa Barbara just to watch Xmas lights and ended up on the boardwalk which was deserted. There was a beautiful lit Xmas tree and being there was so romantic. But then we realized that the few cars parked around were not empty. I am sure someone was upset on us just as we were!!

26th Dec. We woke up very early in the morning since we wanted to catch the 9am ferry to Santa Cruz, one of the islands that makes the group of NP Channel Islands. We planned to be back late afternoon to go for whale watching trip. When we reached the harbor we were told that the morning rides had been cancelled due to the high surf and tough wind forecast. So we chose to take the Channel Island ferry. Lightening can strike the same place twice, because the next place that we went for Chinese was worse. It was a crime to call that dung Chinese food. The two grumpy faces headed towards downtown to get some coffee and pastry to swish. SH spotted a busy joint where the customers appeared happy and the servers looked busy. The décor of the place was very European but the food options were mostly American fusions- Brownies with cream tops, wafers and crisps. I ordered a brownie with fruit toppings, cappuccino and SH ordered a Jalapeno bagel, white chocolate mocha. The food was so divine; it made us grin from ear to ear. Why does food rule our emotions?
All happy we headed to the harbor. The ferry ride to Santa Cruz Island (the biggest island among five islands under the NPS) was rocky. SH managed the backpack and avoided being rocked across the deck, But I pranced all corners of the boat taking pictures and making videos. Once on the island we took a mile long hike till Cavern point. We were breathless by the time we reached the top in spite of the short hike because of the altitude. 400ft from sea level in a span of half an hour. The view was gorgeous and as breathtaking as was the wind which almost blew me away.
We chatted long with the volunteer who was interested in knowing how many Indian languages I knew. And why I lived in India and not Bangladesh since we were Bengalis. Interesting question! Being an Indian is complicated- just the way we Indians like. We watched sunset on our ferry ride back, am I repeating “breath taking” too many times?
We got back to our hotel for some rest after such a rocking time (pun??).

27th Dec. After dreaming the whole night about desserts and frothy mochas, I was late for a breakfast so brunch it was again. We decided to go to the same awesome place. This time we ordered from the menu – crab cakes with Benito eggs, stuffed omelets with croissant and frothy creamiest white chocolate mocha cups. DIVINE. By this time we knew, this trip was turning into a bon appetite excursion. We drove to Santa Barbara to meet SH's cousin from Philadelphia, who was on a whirlwind tour across the west coast. Student’s life is the best- Carefree, no responsibility other than your backpack and more importantly youth. Priceless.
We were delayed by the young trekkers, who lost their way in spite of the Garmin help. After spending some time on the ocean front and the Cabrillo pier we started for Solvang. After an hour n half, we reached Solvang. Stunning is to say the least. Off the highway we passed beautiful vineyards and romanticized horse ranches before we reached the Solvang downtown. Between the hills of California we found a piece of Denmark. The houses were made in West European style, in keeping with the Danish spirits. The sight totally transformed us to a dream land that was so unexpected. We had done some research and knew that the bakeries and wineries were the highlight of the town. I had shortlisted three bakeries and all of them were a must. We took a map of the town and decided to take a walk through the town. There was a horse drawn carriage with footmen wearing bright red uniforms, giving the tourists a tour of the town. We were not sure how much time this ride would take, since we wanted to devote more time to our bakery tour, we had to forgo the carriage ride. It’s on the to-do-list for the next trip. The cyberShot kept shooting at every corner. Our first stop was at the Danish Mill Bakery. We decided to sit and gorge on some chocolate pastry and Danish almond wafers. One bite and we needed to order some more frothy mocha. It was an absolute high teatime perfecto. With a renewed vigor we started our expedition across the town. They have made quaint cottages, windmills, clock towers. The town also has a mermaid fountain, a smaller version of the Copenhagen mermaid. We visited Olsen Bakery and Solvang Bakery and ordered bread, Danish cookies, ganaches, strudels, almond Kringle and Danish wafers- this meant a lot of cream, sugar and calories but we have this one life to enjoy!Righteous So!

Reached bay Area by 9pm and ordered biryani, gosht to-gos.
Now I am going through the pictures again and again and reliving the past week.
What a wonderful way to windup the year.

I offer to raise a toast to many, many and some more years of fun and happiness.

See you all nextYear!! Happy 2009
Love, luck n’ laughter!

The Road to Peace is a Bumpy One!

2008-12-29T02:03:00.000-08:00

This picture is taken on a traffic stop. Just as I was ready to click, the lights turned to green and this is the result. I did not get a second chance. Do we get or give a second chance to peace and friendship? I was on a most wonderful holiday trip, but the mind has its own way to make you brood.. even during moments of absolute contentment, breath taking sunsets, scenic drives, soothing coffee sips, sufiana / Bengali songs. The mind will wander off….

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A day before Xmas, I read a random post and commented (comment no.8) on an impulse. I read the comment response during Xmas break. I laughed it off as a sadistic stunt. Mostly I stay away from unhappy, malign rants. This time, I did respond and got ditched.
So I did some analysis for myself. The incident has no importance but I had to document so that I learn from my actions. The questions I posed to myself and the brainstorming follows-

Why I had to post a comment?
What Jagjit Singh said against the Pakistani singers is irresponsible but the post retaliation seems rather harsh. The language seemed so harsh, rude and ugly that I felt bad for JS even though I do not agree with his actions. The title and the content was just too violent for a Christmas Eve day. Personally, I am so happy and content in my current state. Just wanted to put a friendly word to forgive and forget. I saw too much of negative energy and ignored the call for individual freedom of expression.

I should have stayed away.

The comment response
It was meant to be hurtful and upset. Just because someone does not agree with your views does not require you to snub them. Freedom of speech is an act of responsibility and need not be practiced by only famous people. Being a nameless nobody does not mean one can act up as foolish juveniles.

My stand –
We can have differences of opinion without being hateful. It is a weak argument when people say that if he can talk like that why can’t I, because that is when Peace becomes extinct. Violence cannot be curtailed by more violence. I feel sorry for folks who lack the sensitivity and compassion to understand situations that do not support them. I successfully practiced it in this situation. I sent good wishes, pleasantries and humor their way (comment no.16). I will also practice forgiveness but never to forget because I need to remember and stay away from negative attitudes.
So enough about that blather, a passé.

A wildflower near Lake Casitas, Ventura. Braving the adverse weather.

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The year is winding up with wonderful personal memories for me. I have many happy memoirs to share, and infinite special ones to dream about. I had a great Xmas time, with scrumptious brunches and delectable Danish desserts….. freezing but fulfilling hikes and long scenic drives.

And, I see beautiful rainbows on every corner.

Looking forward to a Wonderful New Year filled with Happiness and Good Fortunes!

My Big and Cozy blogging Proximidade!

2008-12-23T11:30:00.000-08:00

I am grateful to Goofy Mama who has once again bestowed a special award on me. I sincerely wish I can be a good friend to her as well as to all my loving friends. The term proximidade means neighbourhood or being in close proximity, meaning friends, people who are close and dear.
Me thinks!! I will take some time to decide before I pass on the award, because love and being loved, my honor and respect of others and being close to friends and holding close friends to my heart is something I do not consider light. Therefore I request sometime here.

Currently I have a paper publication to work on and some packing for a Xmas trip. We leave for Santa Barbara and Ventura tomorrow afternoon. It’s a five hours drive. Xmas day will be spent in a quaint Danish township and the following day we plan to make a trip to Channel Islands. I have heard that Whales make a crossing here and sometimes they make a break journey at the favored spot. That has me all excited.
So my dear friends I will see you after Xmas and hopefully before New Years!

Wishing ya’ll A Merry Xmas and Season’s greetings.

Ma- Baba and Birthdays

2008-12-17T13:34:00.000-08:00

It’s your birthday Baba,
Ma called to remind me.
I hesitate talking to you. You know.
Nothing I do is good enough for you.
Why did I come to US,
Why did I not sit for Civil Exams?
Why I choose to be a house-wife,
Not the lecturer that I was?
You forget it’s my life,
Not your dream.
I know you care,
And it makes me edgy.

I call you.
You pick the phone on one ring.
Were you waiting for me to call?
You sound excited and happy.
Why am I surprised?
Did I do something right?
We talk about fish, and gifts,
Cousins and gas/petrol prices,
Basmati rice and American economy.
Both of us are on best behaviors,
Ma is happy that we both are polite,
No heated exchanges.
Are we doing it for Ma?
Because I think I forgot her birthday too.

Happy Birthday!

A Weekend update on a Thursday!

2008-12-11T01:23:00.000-08:00

I can never be a Breaking News journalist. But then I openly declare my slothful leanings.
So the weekend goneby is the "Big Weekend" after three tough years, I want to chronicle.

Finally, SH is done with his MBA course and we are both relieved. I have been so excited and have dreamt with such passion about how we are going to spend our time post graduation; travelling, hiking, learning golf together and going swimming.
The Big day fell on 4th Dec. And for the lack of any talent to express how excited we felt, we fought and quickly proceeded towards a cold war to avoid any harsh language. So that’s how the night was spent without disturbing any individual routines and meals. It felt he still had his exams and I stayed out of his way.
Slight digress-our fights have always proved to be advantageous for me (read flowers, tiramisus, more importantly help around house!).
Then comes Saturday morning and since we had made big plans for our first freedom weekend we got dressed and walked towards the garage. Remember, we are still on a cold war!

We went to one of our brunch-favorite joint and ordered classic sandwiches on cibatta bread and creamy chicken, soup of the day. Since I love sourdough bread it was taken for granted that I will consume the bigger share of soup and he will finish my leftover sandwich. What with recession even “cold wars” need some love.

After brunch we dropped some food items at the food drive project for homeless and needy. Then we headed for some retail therapy. I wanted to check the sale season. The constant buzz of deeper sale than ever was enticing and one that I did not want to miss. By the time we headed home I had lazer-ed into the wallet with two jeans and 2 cute sweaters. I am so ready for the Xmas season. We picked “Singh is King” for a movie time.
It was such a hilarious movie that the cold war is just not happening anymore.

On the way back I lamented on not being able to find a wristcase for my ipod classic. All the cute cases are either for shuffles or iphone. The market is ignoring the classic, I say. And I also needed to buy toys for the toy drives we intended to participate.

This year because there is a rise in unemployment and homelessness all over the country, the local media keeps requesting for donations from individuals who can contribute to the cause, in kind or economically. We have been contributing for the toy donations each year but this year we planned to participate in the food drive as well. But I am still doing it in my way; no non vegetarian food although that is exactly what the American media emphasis upon. Non perishable canned non vegetarian. But I have found high protein options; almond mix cornflakes, kidney beans, pasta, canned fruits and baby food. And we have been doing this every alternate week.

On Sunday after brunch of uttapam and chutney, we picked the toys and then went shopping perfume for SH. Finally he bought Chrome Azzaro. After 6 months of coaxing. I also liked a wonderful winter formal jacket in camel color for SH which he liked so much he could not deny himself. Finally found an ipod wristcase and lastly we bought some fine red wine to celebrate. The wine was so smooth.
We feasted on delicious to-go from our neighborhood Chinese joint and discussed our on coming Xmas road trip.
We watched “Rock On”. The songs are wonderful and even better with wine.

Right now I am busy preparing for the party that we have on Sunday. A small gathering of SH’s grad school fellows along with their spouses.
For once I will have some common topics to discuss and reason to celebrate with complete strangers.

In Appreciation...

2008-12-09T12:27:00.001-08:00

Some time ago I had thought that each month I will talk about a couple of blogs that I like reading and discuss how I came across the blog and what I like about the blog. After all it was a blogger who inspired me to start my own blog.
And this seems the best way to start giving note to my beloved fellow blog buddies. I also need to acknowledge my fellow Blog buddies since most of the time I do not leave a comment to announce my arrival.
Also because I have yet to add them on my blog list although they are all on my computer favlist.

I have received my first award. Goofy Mama Bestowed a pretty award at My creative and Photo Blog. I am grinning like a drunk baboon.(check my profile pic for reference)

Thank you so much.

So this award goes to-
1. I came across Odessa when I was looking for fellow bloggers from Bay Area and I have become a fan of this quiet and talented girl with a lot of depth.

2. I reached Eve many months ago and she kept me from writing my blog posts because I couldn't stop reading hers.

3. I have to mention Orange because her Photo blog is so cheery and she reminds me of my schools/college times.

4. Absolutely beautiful things has introduced me to such lovely ways to be creative in my own limitations.

5. I love Creative Pooja because her blog is an inspiration for all foodies and proud vegetable lovers. Hers is a happy blog I want to go back to again and again.

6. Straight Arch in a Squarish Circle writes about life as it comes at you; then a dash of humor and a pinch of irony. He makes me go all nostalgic.

7. A focus in the wild experience is the kind of life, I would wish for myself. Her Photo blog and her work are very much appreciated by me.

8. I reached Roop through Unchaahi and she makes me realize that we all can make a difference. This award is for both because they are together.

9. Metrodad does not like awards but I can not help it. As a young married couple with no kids yet, he is the only parent blogger whom am able to connect with and who makes me reflect and realize that we have to make the best of what God has given us.
.
10. Indian Home Maker is one of the coolest Blog girl I have met "virtually". Her blog is an absolute thinking blog for me.
.
11. I would like to award it back to Goofy Mama because her quake rites make so much sense to my life. Also most of the traffic my way is thanks to Goofy here!
.

Live Full.Love Max.

Some things

2008-12-08T12:30:00.000-08:00

This week I took some time to reflect on what is vital to my being.
I had a most wonderful weekend filled with lots of fun and laughter.
And I figured that Happiness and Love figure at top.

I recall some Kabir verses- One says that we must look inside ourselves when we want to find faults, while another talks about finding love all around when we give a chance to others.

And here are some things I love that I wish to share with others.
1. I love to take walks along beaches, with warm sand wrapped around my feet.
2. I love yellow. My wardrobe is shades of yellow; gold, mustards, oranges, reds, and some blue-greens. Can’t help it!
3. I love the sun! Bright, warm, sunny days bring me a lot of joy.
4. I love romantic and cute comedies. I love movies that make me cry (it’s catharsis), and movies that make me laugh like a Hyena is it?
5. I love crème brulee and bread-butter pudding. They remind me of my mother, my birthdays and that everything will always be fine with my world.
6. I love hiking on a sunny and breezy day, reach the top of a meadow and watch quiet deer family in their peacefulness. I love contentment.
7. I love coming across wild animals on our nature expeditions; elephant seals, wild dolphins, jackals, wild bears, bob cats and snakes. Few that I have been fortunate enough to spot.
8. I love my camera. And I appreciate all the love and attention that comes my way due to it.
9. I love being lazy and read a magazine or book, do some crochet/ knit or just be a couch potato.
10. I love the blog world- it makes strangers become friends It makes me aware of various information, ideologies, dogmas, I never knew existed. It helps me grow into a person I would like to be someday.
11. I love talking, being part of discussions and arguments simply because it makes me reflect within me and helps to expand my horizons.
12. I love to listen myself sing out aloud; Tells me I am truly happy.

Will I ever get over this ?

2008-12-02T10:57:00.001-08:00

How can we blame Pakis, the terrorists and their leaders.
When we have such brain dead and loser politicians, I feel ashamed that these cranks are the leaders of our country and who represent us.
And I am not sure if even this complies with me.

This is something I agree with. And this expresses what I mean.

Need- Love and Prayer, Pride and Humility!

2008-12-01T19:41:00.000-08:00

This conversation started here.
This is the response from H:-
I was busy mobilizing friends for the Candle Light Vigil last evening hence couldn't reply earlier. We had a turnover of around 300 people in the bone chilling winter of England. Yes I include myself when you say Indians and that is obvious and comes automatically..... so answering that question seems absurd to me.My grudge against us Indians is that despite being educated, landing into posh jobs and making a decent living, we are not concerned for India as a country. While I was mobilizing friends one of my Indian colleague refused to join us as it would meant canceling a dinner invite for her.... now when I look at that I wonder, what is the magnitude of tragedy that will move her to join a cause like this.Even at the vigil there were some notorious elements who kept commenting on us organizers as "Pseudo secularist", and other things...... I agree the desis in UK are called Paki and that is seen as abusive and you can take a person to court if it hurts anyone's sentiments.Yes, it is tolerance and respect that makes heterogeneity (read multi cultural/ethnicity/religion/region) beautiful else it leads to confusion and complexity...
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x--
And my reply to H is the following:
Totally Love your reply. You are a gem.
When ppl use abusive languages towards you/each other remember its always their own inferiority and weaknesses they are refering to. Uska koi dharm nahi hota.
When ppl avoid/abuse me I have always seen its for the same thing.
Reason- inferiority, and that has no religion.I am very proud of you.
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

The other friend of mine, who is Muslim by religion and an Indian national, seems so hurt that it seems she is unable to comprehend that both of us (she and I) are saying the same thing albeit in different languages perhaps.
For me the petty squabble ends here because there are much more important and bigger things to accomplish. But before I cremate this raw tide of emotions and make better use of my strong sentiments for our beloved nation. I have to state a few facts.
This childhood friend of mine, who thought it was important to defend herself as a Muslim has a very dear Military link. S’s brother is a Naval Officer serving our nation.
So this private friction is demeaning to our being. I am trying to put my energy into something constructive.
Please send me your suggestions and guide individuals like me how we can serve our nation even though we live half a world away. I do not want to just keep write about it but much more. Just cant afford to be a passive writer/reader anymore. I have to be proactive.

I bow at H’s inspiring words- it is tolerance and respect that makes heterogeneity (read multi cultural/ethnicity/religion/region) beautiful ........
.... the Core.

A Tribute to Mumbai and all Indians

2008-11-30T19:53:00.001-08:00

This is a creation of Awasthi. Dedicated to Mumbai,India.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reoQhqpZ_b4

This is my way of paying homage-

This is a tribute to Mumbai, Kashmir, Ahmedabad, Delhi, Chennai-- India and her citizens.

This is dedicated to all our army, Navy and Military personnels who have devoted their lives to save ours.

This is in remembrance to all Police servicemen and Firemen who face danger so that we remain safe.

This is to our mother: India whom we need to protect and preserve, love and cherish, Respect and worship.

This is to all the innocent 400+ victims of terrorism in the year 2008 and the countless human lives that have been lost and beloveds left alone due to the inhumane, brainwashed theories of the psychotic fanatics.

Facebook, Friends and Faith (in ourselves)

2008-11-29T14:49:00.000-08:00

Every Indian has a strong feeling of nationality which is very complex namely because it is entiwined with our religion, regionalism, language, castes, social standings (for some its pure economics). Wednesday night attack on Mumbai(India) brought many of us together for a larger cause. Twitter was abuzz and still is (a bit). Facebook/Gmail statuses of friends were charges with emotions with their individual ideas and thoughts. Being away from India, our Motherland, makes many of us feel helpless and this was one way we could make our voices heard.
So when Pandora's status read the following; there were many emotions running high.
My friend Pandora’s facebook wall read - P believes these terrible terrorists are making things difficult for her good Muslim friends! 1:06pm
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S said at 1:20pm November 28
Thanks for your empathy P...these are one of the times when one is lost for words!
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Spontaneous Mini at 3:39pm November 28
Right now my sympathies are only with India and the victims. did u watch CNN and Pak medias anger?
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S at 6:14am November 29
India also has a good number of Muslims who are just as tolerable and shocked as the rest of India...it's not wise to confuse them with Pakistanis!!!
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H at 11:14am November 29
I agree with Sahar.......
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S at 11:31am November 29
oops.........tolerant!
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Spontaneous Mini at 2:30pm November 29
Hi S and H, Have not heard from you guys in ages. Plz do not defend yourselves my friends. I adore and love both of you like my sisters. You both are a part of my childhood that is ever so dear to me. Both of you know my best friend and sister is Zaheera, whom I love like I love my brother and parents.
Pakistani civilians are not to be blamed here nor are Muslims. This war/attack is not about religion.Terror and terrorism has no religion. Plz do not drag any religion or religious belief here.
India is secular. We are Indians first even if we speak different languages, pray to Allah, God and Bhagwan, live in various parts of the world; we strive and live for India as Indians. No blame game is needed. We just need to be educated and vigilant citizens. Jai Hind!
**********

Since this is my blog I will explain myself. I maybe incorrect but I have a viewpoint that must be voiced and needs to be heard.
1. Why do we have to be patronizing towards anyone? Who has (has not) suffered meanness or bias in their lives. Ask the person you patronize have they never rebuked anyone? Have you never witnesssed prejudice?
2. What are you trying to defend here? After 9/11, Sikhs were and still are often mistaken for arabs they have still stuck to their attire and customs. So have faith in yourselves and educated people.
3. When I say,"My heart goes to all Indians." I am sure I mean everyone who believes that he/she is and India. Religion has nothing to do with that. Please understand people Hindus are not the only ones who are affected by the terrorist attacks in India.
Have confidence in yourselves and in others. You may think that the other persons actions are meant to insult you. But have you ever thought that it is just your thinking in someway that makes you just as biased?
4. What is the definition of tolerance? How do we say that we are tolerant while the other is not? How and when can we decide that stretch of tolerance that is all inclusive? If we say the other is not tolerant, are you still able to tolerate them and how? Are you able to hug them. Have you even spoken to them?
5. My family hails from Lucknow (now), Gonda, Gorakhpur- My family speaks bengali, often mistaken to be a Muslim because of my surname and my Hindi diction. I am proud to be an Indian! A multilingual.
In US I have often been mistaken for a Hispanic, as must be true for many other Indian girls. I feel proud of this fact. Yes, I am an international citizen.
My identity is as an Indian. Not as a UPites or Mumbaikar, Kasmiri or Assamese, Bengaluru or Manipuri..
I am an INDIAN!

Why do we lack such confidence in ourselves, then so ready to blame the other person for our own wrongful thoughts? Have we ever sat and made an analysis ourselves before we get upset with others actions and severe the ties of friendship and walk into the pit of enemies. We need to stick together people and remain friends forever.

Unity and sticking close together, is one of the laws of nature. Even wild animals live in herds, fleets, schools to keep the enemies at Bay (slight pun!).
This is atleast one lesson to learn.

Not again

2008-11-27T22:27:00.000-08:00

I am constantly watching this: http://www.ndtv.com/convergence/ndtv/video/video_live.aspx?id=0

watching the encounters live on NDTV live is such a scary ordeal.
its 10:35pm at night.
Added: We were awake the whole night. following the ordeal till 4am on Twitter and NDTV mostly. The CNN IBN just would not work. Morning has been just the same. I forgot to take my medicine as well as get up tp make tea.
God has to be on our side only because the terrorists do not have one.
Allah, God, Bhagwaan, VahiGuru, Christ.. who is on their side?

Finally its over. There is a deluge of news updates from all sides. I am recording most of it on my twitter onliners. will have to sit and compile all of the info simply because enough is enough. this time it will not be forgotten and never forgiven.
Ofcourse we are resilient... we will never give up. Never giveup on our hopes and dreams. Never giveup the brotherhood that we have among ourselves inspite our our diffrences.
Who is this person who thinks that he can scare us, kill us and it will make me forget my sister??
Zaheera you are my sister, I am Kasib and Ali's Khala. That will never change.
Who is this evil who thinks that he can change the truth by the tip of his evil gun?

Mumbai bomb blasts and Indian Determination!

2008-11-26T23:09:00.000-08:00

How does it feel to be hit on your gut just when you do not expect it?
I was peacefully watching "Who wants to be a Millionaire" on ABC, when there was an national emergency alert about the numerous Bomb blasts in Mumbai. I immediately switched over to CNN and have been following the constant news about the Mumbai bomb blasts since morning. It is now almost 12 hrs since the first breaking news. My stomach churns at the thought of what the people of Mumbai have to go through and more specifically for the people who have to go through such a tragic ordeal.
No one really has any concrete news and its all quite confusing. Whatever I have been able to understand till now is that : there is now a new terrorist group added to the long list of dirt people the “Deccan Mujaheddin”. This is the group that has taken the responsibility of now in total of ten attacks in various tourists and heavy populated areas. 2 Hospitals, 2 Hotels, Restaurant, movie hall, major railways stations and other areas. We living in US have to depend on the international News channels which in turn have to depend on the Indian news correspondence so it is very scattered.
At this time its reported that 101 people have lost their lives while more than 200 people are injured. What is even more worrisome is that the Indian/Mumbai police has lot three of their top officers. The Anti-Terrorism Squad (ATS) chief Hemant Karkare, two Indian Police Service (IPS) officers - additional police commissioners Ashok Kamte and Sadanand Date and Mumbai Police “encounter specialist” Vijay Salaskar were also shot dead in these terror encounters. US intelligence officials have lost their lives in this encounter. Many innocent lives of people who were going about their lives having dinner, attending a party, leaving or arriving in the city that they loved or would grow to love soon. So many dreams, opportunities, expectations and happiness are all lost.
I am watching the constant barrage of news the videos and pictures sent by restorers as well as amateurs and cringing as I sit in my cozy living room and imagine what is wrong with the world that these terrorists mean to solve by bomb blasting and killing innocent people?
They have also been showing the pictures of a couple of terrorists. They look like college students. To be precise to my eyes they look like bright youths from well to do families. This is my inference from the way they are dresses, their physical assessment and their body postures. Why would young men like them do something like this? What may have happened in their lives to make them take such a drastic and demonic step? What must these youth feel when they were gunning down surprises innocent people?
They were supposedly looking for American and British citizen. But now we hear that many of the hostages that are yet to be rescued are Israelis. If their intention was to take foreigners hostage why did they target hospitals, railway station and movie halls? What is the real intention of these terrorists and how can they call these evil actions as holy war?
My head is swirling and blood gushing to my brains every time I am thinking of what the people have to go through each time constantly, consistently. These are the times when I think and repeatedly call my God and ask him for action to tell me and everyone else what is the right path.
For all like me, we have to pray for the well being of the world. We have to rise above all the negative doings of the people who understand no better and bring down the evil spirits. We have to keep our sanity and face these religious fanatics with our constant resilience that makes us the Proud Indians.

We Indians will never give up!!

The Week went by.....

2008-11-25T15:15:00.000-08:00

.. in a blink, giving me no time to scribble my updates.
I am worried because I do not want to forget. With age catching up I need regular dosage of Brahmi to remember every moment that I am alive and happy. Since I am unable to get my hands to the Himalaya Ayurvedic capsules I will do the next best and keep an account of my life.
The weekend was a very happy and content one. It was dedicated to good food, good conversations and excellent company.

For a while I have wanted to eat luchi- alloo dum just like it’s made at home. I had luchi and chola r daal a couple of times during my Indian holiday. But not luchi- allo dum homestyle.
SH had luchi-alloo for breakfast during our long stay at Hyatt, Kolkata and I shared it with him until we discovered their gobi and methi parathas! (was so yummy, thats for another post)
So this was the week when I finally decided to have luchi and allo r dum for brunch. Woke up very late on Saturday and was quite flustered precisely for the same reason. I made hurried uttapam and had it with leftover sambhar- chutney. I had no time to prepare luchi-alloo r dum because Sh had to leave for a group project. It was a bright day and after SH left I decided to take off. I went for a real long walk which did not seem that long with the pod classic for company. One of the neighbours were cleaning their apartment their pet was left to bask in the balmy sun. I spent some time talking to him and then I caught this fabulous sight and spent the rest of the time looking up towards the beautiful blue sky. Remember the airship Hindenburg and the midair fire and then crash? It is similar technology. Well, it was gliding over the sky in a slow motion similar to a hot balloon, a beautiful sight and so unique. I totally have to do this now that i have seen it.
You can check better pics of the Zeppelin airship and the article by clicking on the pic.

Watched a wonderful movie named “Venus”. With a name like that I expected something different. But after a while I realized it was an offbeat, art imitating life movie. It had one of my favorite (my ever favourite) songs which kept playing in the background. The movie was very British, dry humor, achy breaky emotional doses on relationships, friendships, old age and infatuations. I have come to love that kind of stuff by now- remember the “Office”, the Kumars at no 42 on BBC, well these were my favorites. Then “Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging” that I watched on the flight back to SFO. The evening was warm and cozy with SH coming home with veg patties and I made cardamom flavored tea. Later the dinner consisted of fried rice, potato crisps, cauliflower, raita, payash. I call that quite a potential day!

Sunday I literally dragged myself out of bed to make luchi and alloo r dum and boy were they good! We absolutely were smacking our own fingers. My ego is all puff up with this experience. The taste reminded me of weddings where luchi, cholar daal, allor dum and jilepi is the morning breakfast/brunch for the days that lead to the wedding. So the day started on a great note which continued. Sh was so happy and content and in spite of his workload office/school, he insisted we go out: any place I like. So, we went shopping! I am avoiding eating out and so meals were all home made however oily and spicy but mostly veg.
Monday: I wake up early morning only to be told that I can go back to sleep because SH was working from home. And I did. So the, breakfast was once again luchi-alloo r dum and payash (remind me this when I complain that I am fat). So the day went into a flurry catering to you know who! Monday seemed like an extension of the weekend if I can say so.
I spent quite a lot of time reading blogs and making friends with the blogger in my mind because Ipresume our similarities or applaud their talents.

Also a lot of time was spent making holiday plans once SH graduates from school and finally completes his MBA program.

Post instead of a Gossip session-

2008-11-21T11:13:00.000-08:00

There was a time I looked forward to some much needed harmless gossip sessions till they turned dangerously on me. So I have decided to post my gossips on my blog. I have rather few regular readers and I will share my silly mindfuls with the friends that I have here.
So the infamous Gov. Spitzer and his Prostitute scandal is back in media with Ashley Dupre agreeing to sit for an interview for 20/20 on ABC channel. The interview will air tonight and there is a constant buzz about it.
But that's not the point. What I want to say is that, Ashley Dupre reminds me of Vidya Balan. I am not saying that they are look a likes - just a sharp resemblance. Check the picture of the two next to each other and it will be clear what I mean. You can click on the pictures and check the story on Dupre as well as Balan's official website.

.....

Disclaimer: I request to be forgiven if this comparison hurts anyones feeling. Well, this is my personal space where I am allowed to unleash my political, apolitical and unpolitical rants and raves.

My Daily Routine is ....

2008-11-18T10:50:00.000-08:00

.... Something like this. Since I came back I have become the ideal person, I always wanted to be. Really!! I go to bed long before midnight and wake up around 6:30- 7:00am.

My first chore is to put hot water for tea and take my early morning medications while SH starts getting ready for office. Then I get busy preparing breakfast and pack lunch for Hubbz. SH leaves for office around 8:30 am. This is when I start with my, my day. I do Suryanamaskara and pretentions on staying fit with my on demand exercise channel.
After this I prepare my breakfast, which generally consists of milk and cereals or wheat bread, peanut butter and jelly and on some days,an egg. At 10 am I watch my daily dose of “The View”. This is one of my favorite programs and gets my vote for the best reality drama. I only started appreciating Barbara Walters on this show, which made me read her autobiography “Auditions”. But the main person who got me hooked was Rose O’Donnell and her obsessive nature to meddle into everyone’s business and the opinion everyone had of her including Donald Trump. I am still hooked once she is long gone and the groups drastic changes. People who know about the show will understand my enthusiasm about it. With Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, Walters and the Republican Elizabeth Hasselbeck, enough of discussions and catfights. Also this show keeps woman who stay at home, have only weekend friends and dislike phone conversations, updated on all the hot topics of the day.

By the time the show is over I am ready to start with the chores for the day. Firstly, I take on the outdoor jobs. Post Office, Library, doctor’s appointments, grocery shopping etc. I come back home and this is when I dabble with my laptop, emails, social networks, deliberate as well as random curiosity researches. I chat with my friends who care to buzz me.

On days I do not have outdoor chores, I am busy indoors - arranging the dishwasher, washing and drying clothes, ironing shirts, vacuuming the rooms, thorough cleaning of the kitchen, arranging the wardrobes/cabinets/chests, changing bed linens, folding clothes, dusting, cooking. No I don’t have to do all of them every day. I have arranged all the chores according to the days and that is the only help I have. I don’t miss maid service, mainly because I will always find some flaw and then tire myself anyways.

Since I am back I have tried to give a slight twist to my eating habits. Before I begin my work and after my morning break is over I eat some fruit, apple, banana, pear or avocado. Sometime this is replaced with fruit juice. And in between, the chores, I find some time to prepare my lunch which is mostly leftover rice, veggies with curd. But if I have to cook something then it is generally uttapam or upma, and curd. Then I take my bath and sit down to watch Oprah Winfrey’s Show that airs at 4pm PST. This is the time I also do my creative stuff. I work on Photoshop, Illustrator; crochet, or knit- like I am doing right now. I am working on a men’s sweater. Sometimes I sit on my synthesizer and croon but that’s seldom mostly my music session happen when I work on my house chores when I blast the speakers.

On days when SH does not have classes he is home by 6-6:30pm and we have tea and samosas and pakoras together. But when he goes directly to class I skip the evening tea.
Our evening outings are restricted for now. Dinner is usually earlier than the Bengali standard time of 10/11pm and after catching Larry King and a bit of Jay Leno I am off to bed.

Ps: I blog anytime of the day other than sleeping hours. ;-))

A Flower

2008-11-16T16:46:00.001-08:00

During my undergrad days I completed a year long graphic designing course from Arena Multimedia. Even though I was not the best student of the class I still got the opportunity to teach the course to later batches for a year. That is when I really learnt interesting facts and materials about graphics, designing, advertisement world and art.

Its been ages since then and now the softwares itself has evolved a lot. Illustrator, Photoshop, Page maker, 3 D Max, Premier, Flash. I don't even remember most of the commands and tool boxes anymore. This time I was able to upload Photoshop CS and Illustrator in my laptop as well as Premier. I would have uploaded much more but the person who helped me with my uploading did not have Vista compatible softwares. And I just started brushing up my memory with the tools. My first silly creation, is this flower.

But more serious is already happening. I have been helping SH create the website that he has to make for his class project. Just about finished working on that and am in quite an exhilarated mood right now. While hubbs is busy with his group meet I am working on the creative corner. Not a Sunday I envisioned for myself but I got to learn few tricks on the job which is good.

So here is the flower for all to smell, oops behold ;-))

Its A New Day- And We Will- Since we must

2008-11-11T14:15:00.000-08:00

Today it is Veteran's Day. The day we studied as Armistice Day, that is celebrated all over the world celebrating the end of World War I.
The 11th hour on the 11th day of the 11th month of every year is declared as a holiday in remembrance of all war veterans in America.
A good day to record my first American election day experience which has changed a large chunk of history.
I landed back home on a memorable day for American citizens, the voters- Presidential Election Day. A day that will forever be etched in History for making a dynamic change, that the world expected but was not sure of. And so I will make this a special blog post.
I landed at 10:30 am, and was driving homewards by 11am. Reached home. Took my time to looked around and smell my belongings. Everything looks wonderful. In spite of my tiredness I had enough energy to open my luggage and pullout the gifts I bought for the house and SH. But more important than that was the American Elections and SH’s first opportunity to exercise his right as an American citizen. He wanted to share the moment with me. He knew how excited I was about the whole event. Be a part of history and feel as if even we are making history. Before we left for the voting booth we checked on the updated at CNN. Till then it looked like the decisions could go either way. I joked that Obama really needs you so let’s go. The news was that there was overwhelming turnout at the voting booths. That bit of news was worrisome since SH had to go for a Project meet. After a quick change and lunch at our no brainer “Chipotle Mexican grill”, we headed for the voting booth expecting a long line. But there were barely anyone other than the volunteers. There were 4 makeshift voting booths, 2 of them vacant. SH after the usual instructions given went into the privacy of the voting stalls, while I just lingered around. Watched SH drop his vote into the ballot box. It was fun but no, jiggles and drum rolls really. It felt normal. When we got back, the election results had tilted heavily on Obama’s side and I joked with SH about his weighty vote.
We spent the evening in front of the TV switching between news channels- CNN, CNBC , MSNBC and sometimes FOX just to laugh at the grumpy faces there. To watch the Obama family on the 4th Nov evening while Barack addressed the crowd at Grant Park, Chicago was a unique experience- Such a crowd, such influence and such expectations from one man. All that charisma, attractiveness, ivy league education that screams intelligence, perfect loving family and such wonderful smiles. I am still not jealous. because the reality begins now. America and the rest of the world is still riding on adrenaline. Another couple of months. once we are past the 20th of January 2009, and the First family, the first Black American Family settles into the White House, the world will not wait any longer to see their raised expectations to form some concrete shapes.
Who would like to be in such a tough position? With the economic stress, the real estate bomb, the stock avalanche, the war, the terrorists, and of coz all the natural calamities, earthquakes, floods, fire and tornadoes.
Even as I write, I am praying hard- YES WE CAN.

And Obama needs the prayers of every well wisher.
I will wind up with a joke. One of my friends new caption on fb is “Now that Barack is the new president of America, will they change the official name to “Barackpore”??

Also the following is a direct quote fom BigB's Blog post 198

“Longest period in History for a paint job - 219 years to paint the WHITE HOUSE , BLACK.

Let me go- I wanna go home!

2008-11-11T13:53:00.000-08:00

I spent my first Monday at home washing everything that I thought was washing machine safe- clothes, linens and anything in between. Its been a week since I have been back from my almost 3 months (2 months 24 days to be precise) Indian summer vacation. And honestly I was eager to be back into my space.
Initially, I thought my house looked so neat, dust free and vacuumed, shocking SH who was expecting some wrath since he had left every household responsibility for me. Even the dishwasher had not been loaded for the last three days in anticipation of my return. But that comes later.
I was just so happy to be back, to my “not really very clean house”. The illusion and the tinted glasses are wearing off and I can rationalize my initial reaction. The households in India with all the maids and paid helps, still has a thick layer of dust the very second after your help swipes the dusty duster. And most people have got so used to that kind of “dust cleaning” that they do not think of it twice. I mean my initial hyper reactions to everything had mellowed by many folds by the time I boarded my plane back to San Francisco. And every time I voiced my thoughts I was given the “drop your superiority American” shrug.
But this is not what, I would like to nag about on my first blog at the end of my Indian festive holiday in almost 3 years. I want to write about my wonderful and some thought provoking times in India. And to chronicle my holiday updates, I have planned to go reverse. Yes, so I will start with my boarding of the plane and reaching SFO. Before I write about my departure from India, I must must narrate my departure. So there-
I am a lazy one. In spite of my brains revolting and telling me that I must not ask SH to do any chore for me, I do. I asked and expected him to check the baggage weight allowance on Singapore Airline, to and fro USA/India. Do I just have to repeat the story? It was just plain drama. With four suitcases (overweight), two hand in suitcases, 2 laptops. It was difficult to manage our luggage. Not many of your friends have a big enough car/van or live near enough to help us with our luggage. But thankfully we have at least one. SH asked his friend with a brand new seven seater to help us with our luggage transportation. It was very stressful and hazardous. My constant prayers were in vain when we were informed in a sorry tone about being 15 kgs over weight. I checked in my hand suitcase for an extra charge of $109. I was quite depressed about the charge cause that would have been so much handy in India ;-))
But just be happy the charge was only till Singapore. I was going to see one of my closest friends from college after 5 years. Singapore was a blast and will be covered in a special post dedicated to only my lovely lovable friend and her adopted country. We realized that the old Samsonite was outdated and weighed 10 kgs. So we threw it and bought a durable, light American tourist in Singapore dollars. With some gifts given to my friend and her beautiful baby boy we were 3 kgs over the mark. But the front desk girl excused our extra kgs and we were off for India.
During my comeback journey from Delhi, I tried my best to fit my things within my weight limits. I almost did. I was 4kgs over but the fellow on the desk acted as if I was over the limit by 400. He must be a really depressed fellow. “I know ma’am you are a resident of USA ma’am but I am sorry.USA is very strict. If it was some other country we would be fine.” SHUT UP. Anyways, I pulled some stuff from my suitcases and put them in my handbag but was still 1kg overweight. What a stupid fellow he must be to call the manager to ask if I could be allowed 1kg extra. His boss, a young girl looked at him and said “sure, that’s just fine.” – in a tone that suggested, you really need to call me for this???
The rest of the journey went eventless. I met up with some friends in Singapore who had boarded from Kolkata and we travelled together for SFO. I watched a number of offbeat movies and Australian comedies, played Sudoku, ate vegan and slept. I Love the new facelift of Singapore airplanes. More leg space, bigger, nicer TV screens, leather seats and designer stuff(Givenchy). A nice trip back.

But the best part of every vacation is that in the end you are back home and able to appreciate what you have built for yourselves.

India trip and My sublime muse!

2008-09-06T08:44:00.000-07:00

So far it’s been wonderful- every bit memorable.
2 days in Singapore. 10 days in Hyatt Kolkata. And Now I am in Sosurbari for the next 15 days before I leave for Kolkata for 10 days with my parents and then back to my in laws for the Durga Puja celebrations before I leave for Lucknow with my parents. In the last 10 days I bought 4 Kurtas, and a sari, while I have been gifted 3 sarees, and 3 kameez sets. And of coz I am looking forward to the rest of my stay in much anticipation. I did not have much time to blog since I am in the “City of Joy”- Land of my relatives. So I leave today with a piece I wrote- don’t remember when.
With a bit prelude.
When did I write this? While searching for an unfinished blog article, which I had started in Hyatt, I found this lost piece. I am sure I must have wanted to add more in this but the cell phone ring or the door bell or the washer something must have broken my reverie. I think I was on a smooth trip with this one. Maybe I will be able to expand on this poignant topic but for now this seems good enough.
Date: unknown
Mood: philosophical
Venue: Most probably the Library (I feel most inspired there).

This is something we all probably know...but rarely realize and comprehend... As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it gets harder each time. You'll break hearts too, so must never forget how it felt when yours was crushed. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old flame did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and consistently waste precious seconds. You'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin!

India Shining and I will be right there with Her!!

2008-08-20T10:40:00.000-07:00

You know, a beautiful day when the first thing your husband who gets up much early in the morning and has read up on all the Indian/ world news online, while you celebrate your midnight dreams and now whose first precious “good morning” words to you are “India claims another medal”. And before you properly open your swollen eyes and an over enthusiastic mouth to claim the gold, he rushes to fill in the millisecond delay with the “still very awesome” Bronze. I absolutely don’t mind it. I love any kinds of metal. Metal is expensive.

Sushil kumar in free style Wresting. Thats wonderful news. And, I get even more excited and fall all over in love with India and Vijender Kumar whose existence I did not know of until his claim to the Bronze, (maybe silver God willing or Gold) in Boxing at Beijing Olympics (he has yet to win it but since he is in the the semi finals, its understood). I have a soft corner for boxers because my father was an amatuer boxer and my paternal uncle was a school champion and one time district boxing champion. He is no more with us, God bless his beautiful soul.
I am ecstatic, jumping over the moon such "macho" feats, Air rifle (gold), wrestling (bronze), Boxing (silver/bronze). I am jumping with joy (with a secondary motive of losing some pounds) before I breathin the "desi khushboo". SH goes on to inform me that we have yet another chance to win a medal with wrestler Yoginder still in action. I am now exuberant and on the ninth cloud by now.

I go into a rhetoric when SH declares that the sports that do not have much publicity hence nominal sponsorship (monetary support) are the ones that are now making the “more than a billion” Indians very proud. I trump on the oratory mode, “I don’t think the winners go into the arena thinking about money; it is always the love for the game. It is always the love and the dedication and a heavenly force that make them work hard and claim their place in history in spite of all the hurdles. Yes, some support (moral and monetary) is always welcome. But when you are in love, every adversity is just another encouraging push.

Once SH leaves for office instead of doing what I need to do I wind up online doing what I want to do- checking the medal count list on the official Olympics Games site. I read the news that Joginder lost the semi finals which would have secured him a bronze.
India right now has 1 gold, 1 bronze (wrestling in free style) Sushil Kumar. I have no words to express my elated state. I just wish I was in Beijing to witness this moment myself. I want to scream, hoot, cry and laugh loud till I go hoarse but alone in my house, I will content myself with this rampant blog post.

Right now, I am busy finishing my draft number two for the publication (but I had this OCS to run this post) and then have to pack, unpack and repack all necessities and infinite sets of gifts on both sides of the family, for the long Indian monsoon holiday rush and festival season. After a short hiatus at Singapore, I will see you in my Des.

Excited that I will watch the rest of the Olympics with the Indian perspective on Indian news networks and not just watch the American athletes on NBC.

The Indian media will give me wholesome news since they are not restricted to only Indian athletics. Somehow, I feel Indians rejoice for anyone who is good at their action/games, and overly skeptic of their own brood. Come to think, it’s a lot like how I picture my parents, super-critical of every action of mine while the next door neighbor’s kid was always better. Hmmm..

So congratulations Vijender and Sushil. Congratulations to Yoginder too (though he lost the semi finals) for bringing focus on their choice of sports and to India. For the love of the games and for our country and with the hope that our country recognizes it’s potential. Cheers to every athlete and their families who love the action and don’t see it as a stepping stone to a job securing exploit. You totally elate me. And Sushil's expression says it all.

I am glowing because India is shining all Gold, Bronze and with positive energy.

On Rakhi- Sharing Memories

2008-08-16T00:15:00.000-07:00

Since the earliest of my memories you have been a part of my life. I have never been able to ignore your presence try as hard as I did. I was happy being an only child but you came and conquered all by your sweet and calm nature, while I retained the naughty pixie title . When you grew older, I thought I would have a comrade who would join me in my pranks and you did not disappoint me. But when ma used to catch us red handed you would make an innocent, sweet angel face and run to hide, leaving me to take the blame and beating. Yes, I was the elder one- wasn’t I responsible for teaching the innocent younger one all the naughtiness of the world? And, you grew up to be a quiet, sweet natured boy who never complained, while I was the defiant elder who was always ready to challenge the authority. Everyone always compared us because we looked like twins and yet so different.
You always had a very sweet singing voice while I did not sing at all. But when you joined school, people heard you sing and they expected me to be a good singer. Finally when I realized I am not so bad a singer, I was really proud for both of us. Remember, how we dreamt to become a singing sibling duo like Shaan-Sagarika?

I remember at school my identity was as your elder sister, while yours was as my younger brother. That is how inseparable we are. I have always looked up to you even. And even though I am the elder you have been the moral and iron support for me. My friend, therapist, advisor, sometimes a strict one. I remember all your friends and our relatives who came to you for advice or just wanted to unburden their troubles on your young but reliable shoulders. And you would come to your room with a migraine because you never learnt to complain and took every tough blow quietly. And you never asked anyone for support in your times of trouble. I have always recognized that strong character in you and I respect you for that and so much more.

I never liked to be an elder sibling, the one with all the responsibilities to be the model child. Now I realize, that it was because I knew how hard it is to be better than you. You are the best.

Your best of best qualities is to have truly realize, that Parents are next to God and must always be revered. I remember there was a time you refused to communicate with me. You were rude and vague. When I finally confronted, you said, it’s difficult for you to respect anyone who disrespects your parents. I still haven't changed much: I still feel the need to question authority and assert my views and choices. Your policy of never to question Baba is really a classic sign of endurance. But you taught me a very big lesson, my brother and my respect for you is unlimited.

It’s been many years since I personally tied rakhi on your wrist and that’s alright because I am always next to you when you need me just as you are always with me. Its been four years since I stopped sending you thread rakhis because you refuse to wear it for the whole day. And so I specially designed and ordered an Om bracelet for you which symbolically represents my being with you at all times and my love for you. It was wonderful talking to you and I am so glad you are wearing the bracelet.

Happy Raksha Bandhan, Bhai.

15th Aug: Indian Independence Day

2008-08-15T01:35:00.000-07:00

Happy Independence Day

The Independence Day is the celebration of freedom of colonized India from the British Raj. For some it means partition of Indian and painful separation. But for most Indian patriots, its the celebration of the birth of independent India, our motherland. This yearr she turns 62 years old vibrant and glorious. Independence literaly means, freedom, "Swarajya", end of colonization, suppresion and so on.

But it has one more meaning for me. 14th Aug 2004, late night I bid farewell to my parents and friends and on 15th midnight boarded the international flight which flew me across the Pacific. Early morning of 15th Aug I landed in San Francisco. The song Freedom playing wildly on my mind.

"Give me Freedom... so I can Live... Freedom so I can Give".

Four years away from my beloved family, precious friends and beautiful homeland. The day has come to mean so much more important and different.

Our personal life experiences give the most revered and celebrated occasion such personal meanings for each of us. Independence and freedom means to let our dreams take wings and fly us to beautiful far lands but never forget the route back home where our life’s true essence thrives.

Michael Phelps the world's Best and Abhinav Bindra's Blog

2008-08-13T10:05:00.000-07:00

This blog was supposed to be about Michael Phelps. And so I will mention him first. He is surely the best of the few we have as an inspiration and an excellent example of dream accomplishments.

I will digress a bit but still stay on the "best of" topic. On Bindra again.

I am getting into the habit of checking the daily "Blog of Note". And guess whose blog is of note today??? Abhinav Bindra.

7 posts old. Starts on 5th Aug and wins a gold on the fourth day of Olympics and will be back home soon. I sincerely hope for this Olympics blog to keep going and hope he talks about his practice, his Athens Olympics debacle and his life time dedication and finally the realization of his lifelong dream, to inspire youths about dedication and positive focus.

Here is a video clip of the award ceremony. During the Indian national anthem, I felt goosebumps and my eyes moistened. Its an awesome feeling at these proud moments. I am hoping for another medal from Paes and Bhupati duo. Tathastu.

Back to Phelps: 11 Olympic gold medals for this one extraordinary individual, the champion swimmer Michael Phelps. He too is very efficiently showing the world its first in his own way.

Till now in Beijing: 5 events, 5 gold medals, 5 world records.

Just watching him was an absolute magic. And just while watching him compete I kept thinking of the most efficient and powerful sharks and elegant quiet whale. And, I found magazine cover.

You and Me and the Bird's Nest: Olympics 2008

2008-08-12T01:47:00.000-07:00

In my excitement I took pictures of the Television while the ceremony was going on. So here are some:

This post started the night I watched the opening ceremony of the Summer Olympics in Beijing but somehow got delayed and now we have the first individual Gold, the first ever for India. And suddenly the whole of India and every Indian is excited about Olympics and Sports (other than cricket and football. Yeah, hockey is long forgotten. We did not even qualify in Beijing.).
When I got the news that India won a gold I was elated, not because an Indian had won "it" The Gold atlas but a wholesome reliefe that the long due job is finally done.

More than a Billion people and not one who is worth the iron (I mean the Gold). Of coz there is. Abhinav Bindra initiated it and I am hoping more will follow. What I am worried about is the commercial and political advantages that people start thinking of. I am happy for India, Bindra and the sports fraternity to find another baby to fiddle with but I have my own apprehensions as well. Reminds me of the year when Sushmita Sen and Aishwarya Rai brought the titles of world beauty and India was the focus of the beauty world. The whole mollycoddling that followed and all the pageants on television were obscenely troubling to me.

Thankfully, Olympics is not to be taken so lightly. It required lifetime of dedication and devotion to ones talent and art, so I am hopeful and pray the very best for the Indian sportsmenship. Bindra who, according to the newspapers, belongs to a well off family did not have to depend on the government facilities to forward his practice. But now I hope and pray the government will care for the upcoming sports prodigies of Mighty India.

Now, about the spectacular opening ceremony; it was SPECTACULAR, awe inspiring and quite intimidating. And these are not just my words but the words used by the NBC commentators. Everyone was simply stupefied by the Chinese spectacle and surely that is what their intentions were. It was an expensive display of power and superiority but whatever it was intended for the foremost intention was to be loved and appreciated and so it was. I loved it; I just can’t stop gushing at what a magnificent assortment of extravaganza it was. For some reason the only American network with the sole rights to the Olympics Games planned not to show the Live Opening ceremony. So everyone in US could only watch it 12 hrs after it took place, along with the deluge of advertisements. Still loved every bit of it.

While I write about Bindra, I want to mention Raj Bhavsar, the 27 year old Indian American Gymnast who finally made the US gymnast team this time. The US gymnast team won a bronze and I was able to catch the late night Olympics recordings and the interview of the gymnasts. I feel happy for Raj. Bhavsar makes the Indian American community proud.

Note: You and Me is the Olympics 2008 Theme song.

Wonderful Day Means being a Kid (again)!

2008-08-08T00:03:00.000-07:00

The colorful festoons especially made for the last summer class. Moon, my friend of almost 2 decades (17 yrsto be precise) and I had been planning to get together and have a girl’s day out. But for some reason or the other things were not happening the way we would like it. Last week we promised to have lunch together and that very evening she called to inform that her husband has had an accident. Thankfully, he was not hurt but the car was totaled. I was eager to help but she said her other friends would take care of everything and so I need not worry.

She had told me that her 2 yr old had his last summer class the following week. I wondered what she planned to do but then stopped thinking about it since she never asked me for any help. But, this time luck seemed on my side. I am the only known friend of hers who drives and owns a car. So Moon asked if I could take her to the community center for Aarush’s last summer class. Thats how, my wonderful day began to take shape. I got up early, robust and in high spirits, although I had no idea what to expect from the day’s experience (but I was sure I was going to build some happy memories and I did).

The community center is near the DMV so I knew the area pretty well. It’s on a green patch with a big play ground for young adults and adolescents and a separate play ground for toddlers. They also have a green patch with barbecue oits for families to share picnics. That gave me a nice impression of the whole community center. We reached as the rest of the toddlers arrived and started with the class. The tutor had made colorful festoons with a floral pendant with the name of each kid in the class.
On the last day of the class the toddlers were suppose to make pizzas, story reading time, painting session, craft time, snack time and then sing a song time: All in an hour’s time. If that is not fast and fun what is?

I became a kid along with Aarush. He did not even understand what he was required to do, but I did and was sure excited. I was eagar to help Aarush decorate his Pizza. which was followed by story reading time about five Monkeys getting ready for bed and being naughty, reminding me of my (in) famous childhood, if my relatives should be believed. There was painting time which Aarush enjoyed while I did his photograph session. Then there was craft time which I enjoyed just as much as the kiddo himself. It was such fun crafting with stars, glitter, and play doh. I made myself quite proud and took some pictures of my creative works. Aarush showed his expertise with the scissors cutting every bit of my creative arts and being looked upon with envy by the other kids who could not even hold the scissors properly.

There was a musical- song and dance by the class. One about fishes- thats how the kids become familiar with fish types like Tuna, Sharks, salmon and dolphins. I was almost an adolescent before I knew tuna and salmon, while seeing one was few more years away.

Then there was a song about Pizza which was followed by food recess when the kids were given the baked pizza and apple juice. It was such a happy and carefree time, that left me feeling exhilarated and content. After taking some pictures we happily trotted back to Moon's house to feed the pair of hungry adults and after the kiddo went to sleep continue with what we do best, one of my best ever gossip session that I had in a long long time.

Here are some of the pictures from the day's activity.
The tiny Pizzas made by the kids- with cheese, olives and pine apple toppings.

My creation with the Play Doh and stamps-

This was made together by Moon and me. The face by me and the body by Moon. And named by Aarush. Of coz no points for guessinf the name now.

Story Time and the class from far corner.

God, please lets replay this day again. Atleast some version of it.

The Wonderful Day when I become a kid again!

Tathastu.

Did you arrive here? Why not share that with all!

2008-08-06T00:33:00.000-07:00

I have written before about my constant broken attempts at keeping a journal. My paternal grandmother kept a journal throughout her life. Sometimes she would read to us from her diary. When she lost her husband to cancer, and after a couple of decades when she lost her young and very vibrant second born son to the same epidemic. She took refuge in her diary.

My grandmother had studied in an English medium hostel run by a group of nuns in Calcutta for a year because her father thought that his adolescent motherless daughter needed some good female role models in her life. But after a couple of semesters of staying away from home she was taken back home because my Great grandfather found life difficult without his youngest child and only daughter. But those few days living in the residential school were enough for her to understand that personal journals are ones best friend and will always be patient with you.
She inspired me.

Like my grand mother, I went to a hostel since I was seven years of age but unlike her, my tears did not affect my parents sensitivity and I lived through ten years of precious moments that were lovingly named “Golden Years” by my class (The teachers called our class the most intelligent batch and the terrible nightmare that came true in the same breath, but those stories some other time). But as disorganized as I was (am) I always jotted my innermost sprites on the first scraps of loose paper sheets on sight, mostly my father’s official register sheets and lose them just as easily. That’s how my parents got to know how much of a shock and jarring case I was. Of coz I was mortified and promised not to write from the next time.

But, my love for books and adolescence brought me to new authors and role models. I read “Daddy Long Legs” by Jean Webster and soon after I read “The Diary of Anne Frank” by Anne Frank. This really hit at a spot; we were approximately the same age. And this was the first serious introduction to the holocaust, the way it affected countless children’s (actually the world) lives and death. Our whole class read the book around the same time and it affected each of us equally and inspired many of us to start our journals(some wrote stories and novels). But, I had one trouble. I could only write when I felt something intensely. At that young age the only thing one truly feels is rage(me thinks!). And so that is what it was and still is (now I have intense feeling of love as well :-)).

So last year when I started reading blogs of strangers and more than once felt a familiarity with some of them I felt connected to a level; a part of that imaginary community and felt the camaraderie that I lack in my present state. But commenting on posts just did not seem enough. I have so much more to share. And, thus here I was again, this time not afraid to share what I truly believe in, feel inside- in my heart and in my mind. I am confident this time that my writings will not be destroyed anymore- good or bad- read or unread. Reflected upon by fellow companions or not. I am here this time.

The only thing I still have trouble understanding is the widget craze. I fail to understand why people put certain widgets to count how many people are reading their blog, which country they are logging in from and so on. Why do you care? When those people are not making the effort to acknowledge your feelings by leaving you a thought, what makes you want to acknowledge them and build your hopes on them? These thoughts came to my mind because after a long time I finally received a couple of comments. Thank you Goofy Mumma. It made me very happy.

For some time I did not tell many people about my blog. But, gradually I told a few friends about it- trying to test their reactions. Most of them emailed me back in spite of my constantly urging them to leave a comment they felt more comfortable emailing and now after these many months even the emails have become less frequent. I don’t blame them. They are still just as precious. Some never referred to my journal and some just never contacted me after I told them about it (ohh.. they are alive, I assure you!).

Thus, my serious disinterest to count who has read my blog reflections. I have my moderation option which for now seems safe enough to keep me away from hooliganism. But, still the comments make me happy.
So, if you are reading me and feel anything that has anything common with me and my feelings, why not share it with me? I want to know, I have friendly company :-))

Ocean's calling, I need salty air !

2008-08-04T15:23:00.000-07:00

SF downtown panaroma from Pier 39

The first time I saw the number one tourist spot of San Francisco, Fisherman's Wharf was on a blind date. Of Cos, my attention was very much divided between the date, the beauty of the place and the dull feeling of homesickness. . The market place reminded me of Delhi's Jan path, the sun till 8pm reminded me of Bombay, the Gaylord's restaurant at Ghirardelli Square, reminded me of everything wonderful there is to be born an Indian. Since then I have been back to Fisherman's Wharf countless times now. These trips are made, at the spur of the moment and without a camera in hand. So, although I have infinite beautiful memories of this much loved and appreciated tourist place, there are not many pictures. Quite a few times we have escorted friends and relatives to these places and pictures are taken by them on their cameras, with a promise and sincere intension to share the pictures as soon as they upload them on their computers but those times are blue moon.

The Ghirardelli Square from the back, on the way to Fisherman's Wharf. This was the old chocolate factory now an elegant shopping center. The Gaylord's Indian Resturant is here (note the red light).

One of the reasons San Francisco is called a romantic metropolitan and much loved by each and all is because of its floral decorated streets. Actually all the Bay Area city downtowns have beautiful, clean and proudly decorated streets.

The very steep Lombard street. Note the cue of the cars waiting to zig zag on the road with the most curves; Lombard Street. I took it from the moving car (will share the curveous street pic soon).

So I took this very seriously fun job in my hands. The mammoth task of buying “imported” gifts for all the relatives and treasured friends is happening with vigor. I have been buying gifts for a long time and storing them in one of my suitcases. But, can shopping for just anything ever be done with till we decide it is? SH was happy when I told him that I would like to buy some specific SF souvenirs from Fisherman’s Wharf. SH jumped at the chance, proposed a lunch date of crab sandwich and clam chowder. I love the popular, crab sandwiches that SH was introduced to by me and counts in his favorite food list and clam chowder that I had for the first time on my Monterey trip with SH. I remembered to take my camera and captured every stop, almost every curve and a “world famous” San Francisco steep. We reached around lunch time and went straight for the restaurant. We decided to go to a different restaurant instead of my favorite joint. The décor was beautiful but the food was a disappointment. Not like my favorite place, hear you. Unlike the lunch the day was super fun and an absolute smash. The temperature predicted was 55F. It’s almost the end of the summer and beginning of fall, which means end of the fog, in true Bay Area language. But, that was not what the weather man forecast read for today. Anyways, I prayed and hoped the best. When we reached downtown it looked fog filled. But by the time we parked, the sky was blue, the sun shined bright and while it was breezy enough to blow us off shore, it was not very cold. Or maybe we did not feel the coolness in the breeze coz we were sprinting from one shop to another only stopping momentarily to exclaim at the street performers, musicians, the wax museum displays, and the funny Ripley's museum where they have more crowds of people standing outside the building than inside. We jogged and shopped, ate and shopped, took in all the beauty and shopped; Pier 39 was robust and bustling with eager tourists. I sure looked like a tourist myself with the camera in hand and going in and out of every souvenir shop in sight going and adding one more shopping bag with a San Francisco Logo on it.

A prisoner escaping from Alcatraz is depicted here. It is automated.

Wax and Brangelina

The wild seals who have adopted Pier 39 as home.

The Golden Gate Bridge through the haze and the ferry.

The Pelicans against Alcatraz Prison. Each time I look at it, it reminds me of "The Great Escape" and school days.
In the end we stood and gazed at the hazy Alcatraz, the Golden Gate at the distance and the hilltop downtown against the setting sun. It was a beautiful sight to take in. We asked a tourist to click "A couple" picture for us, spent some cozy minutes gazing at the beautiful bay, watching the hazy gold sunset, the lazy seals and the busy pelicans- delightfully content we trotted back home.
This is Fisherman’s Wharf, one of the beautiful reasons that made Tony Bennett croon “I left my heart in San Francisco” and for which he won two Grammy Awards.
NOTES: Title: Taken by a song written and sung by Peggy Lee (1962).. All the photos have been shot by the author.

Temper tempests, marital blizzards and sweet moonlights

2008-07-30T23:04:00.000-07:00

I love spices, all sorts of spices. But I seem to have a distinct talent for hot spices. I know, I am more known for my sweet tooth, gulab jamuns and tiramisus. But, then the kind of spice I, refer of here is the spice for life. I am short tempered, quick tempered or hot tempered. Whichever, is you preferred term to express it. There are not many who have had the (mis)fortune to witness my chilli hot tempers. Most people, friends and acquaintances are just imprecisely aware of my shears sharp tongue. Growing up my relatives would openly gossip about my quick wit, sharp tongue, dry humor, and fiery temper.

During, courting period, I would narrate to SH different episodes from my life (and my family) and the general family gossips about me. I did that just to make SH run from me. On the contrary, he found it endearing, which made me think of him as “A Brave Heart” and soon we were married. That is when the reality begins. He realized that all the episodes that he was listening and found so endearing, are now gradually becoming the part of his daily life.
We argue, get upset with each other and soon all is well. I mean, just like that. I get angry and the very next moment, I go to him absolutely oblivious that a moment ago I was determined never to talk to him let alone seek for acknowledgment. That was the routine until a week ago. Both of have been aware that we our argument frequency was at a rise. We have been bit stressed on that issue. I forget the reasons of why we have fought but never forget that we fought and were bitter towards each other. The rise in the number of such heart aches has been a concern, to both of us. But, can I help it? Just like the last one, this came one after the other.

I had organized a barbecue picnic with my friends we made plans the whole week, decided the menu and venue. All us girls we quite excited since its rarely that we get to meet nowadays. But one of my friends baby was unwell so we postponed it by a week. But middle of the week we had to cancel it because of SH’s extra class. I was already upset because this wasn’t the first time we had to cancel a get together. But this had been organized by me which made it personal. I was upset. Though grumpy I let it be. I reminded, he is trying his best to manage, work, MBA classes, the school work load as well as ME. Can I complain of ignorance? That was to be answered soon.

On Friday SH got home and we were having tea. I was my usual animated talkative self. I had made dhoklas for tea and was eager to tell him about the informational health book that I had got from the library on health. A few months ago we got the health scare of my hormonal disbalance caused primarily by my thyroid problems. Now, I could place my sudden weight issues, mood swings and alternate periods of vigor and fatigue. I have been looking for alternatives for medicines hence my interest in natural remedies and my eagerness to share it with the only person I have really talked to in the last three years. So, pardon my ruinous reaction when in the middle of my sentence I see him take an official call. That level of (lack) interest was so unexpected, it got to me, I shocked my own self by my (over) reaction but there was no looking back. There was no big fight, only because we had just got out of one some time ago. I made this issue a continuation of the one we had just resolved and the cold war began which lasted the whole weekend and bit more. So, the weekend consisted of no barbecue, no vacation shopping but ample time to finish Barbara Walters “Audition” which was some 578 pages of summary of the real autobiography. I loved reading the autobiography and missing someone a lot.

But, that’s the whole idea of fights and cold wars. When we reconcile, things look better than ever (at least for a few days). And you also learn something new about the Important One. Sometimes its pastries, sometimes tiramisu and this time it was a thorough cleaning of my grand old car. Quite a cute act which brought a smile and reminded me of the “Sangam” song “sab laye phool Buddha (actually a self proclaimed kid forever) gobi leke aa haya”.

Right now, all is fighting fit with wondrous excitement in my “serene abode”.

God, I pray please keep us this way.

Giant Ball Game

2008-07-28T13:55:00.000-07:00

4th July - A Late Update

2008-07-16T23:38:00.000-07:00

After almost 2 weeks of serious work n studying and 1 week of research work, almost to the brink of torture. I don't even want to see myself near a laptop for a while. But, I wanted to write about the 4th July fire works as well as the baseball game in the next post.
SH was quite intent on going to San Jose for the fireworks this year. For the last three years we had seen the ones in Mtn View, Foster City, and Tahoe. Each of them is just as special because all of them were on the lake and completely dark everywhere. The Tahoe Lake one was magical because we sat on the beach and buried ourselves to escape the cold zipped up in one jacket. Don't know how we did that but we wont be able to complete that feat now. And so that moment is frozen in memory.
This year we wanted to go to SFO, but then we felt lazy and decided to take the train to SJ downtown. The train trip itself was fun since this was the first time we took this route. We passed through every imaginable Silicon Valley company. The SJ crowd was mixed very diffrent from the usual crowds that I have encountered till now. Had a potential mob attitude as was reflective with a lot of Illigal fireworks.
Here are some pics from the trip.

NASA, Mtn View

A fraction of the fact

Reflective Sparks

Fiery and Fabulous

The video clips are here, here, and here of the fireworks.

Cap Ferrat

2008-07-15T23:23:00.001-07:00

I have heard South of France is beautiful. This place is part of the French Riviera.

One of my friends just got back after holidaying in France and she promises that the whole romantic myth about France and Paris is not a myth at all.

Well, this is the France I want for myself. The Mediterranean has always fascinated me and I so want to visit the Greek islands, Sicily and the south of France.

2008-07-02T18:17:00.000-07:00

This was an exciting week, in my kitchen as well as around me. I am keeping busy busy. I am hardly online nowadays. Busy with my books, work and everything else. The weather is beautiful, sunny and its hard to keep myself inside the house. Of coz it helps that I have started listening to books being read to me while I take my nature's walk.

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The past week was fun as well. On of SH's friends visited the bay area on work and his wife accompanied him. I like meeting new people. The next day we took a much needed walk, which turned out to be a long walk. Every time we crossed Crystal springs, I promised myself to come here for a run or a lazy picnic. But it was not happening for the last 3 years. At the same time I wanted to do some nature shots. I had not done that for a Long time and I really love love to capture the nature's beauty through the lens of my camera. Also, I must say, I have one of the best cameras an amateur can hope for. Its very intelligent and focus on things that I am thinking of. That's magical, isn't it?As soon as we got of the car we were able to spot the biggest deer that we have seen around the bay. And the first that I have ever captured on my camera. Well, we walked the walk!!I shot birds and bees. I mean Literally. Was one fabulous nature trip. In the end when we got back to our car we had walked 3 and a 1/2 miles. I was so so so tired and very very very happy.

Some memories not in words.

The view from where we parked our car.

A surprised stranger

A beautiful crane

A Blue Finch (I think)

A feast captured

But the best shot is here!
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Monday- was busy with the dentist trip. I am interested in braces at this old age. hehehehe!!
Tuesday- I spent the whole day in the library working. I love it there.
Today, had been a nice day too since I connected with a friend after a long time and looking forward to see her tomorrow. Also, I want to catch this cute movie that's releasing tomorrow.
Jaane Tu Yaa Jaane Na.... Imran Khan, is such a cutie and the girl is such a beauty.
Probably will go hiking too. So it maybe sometime since I see you. I am trying to keep a notebook now. Because I have been talking a lot to myself and some great ideas are coming to me when the laptop is not reachable.

I love my private space in the public eye....

2008-07-02T15:02:00.000-07:00

... since it helps me reflect on myself.

After a long long time I got the time to sit and read some of my favorite blogs. And after some ages and ages I went to Mad Momma's blog. And read her angst on the popularity her blog has gained in the process restricted her freedom to express her inner desires as well as expansion of the free invitations to pathetic sadists who find it their birthright to keep going back to her blog time again, only to be their usual selves ie pathetic sadists. I mean when I don't like someone I prefer to avoid them, not keep knocking my face under their nose.
I feel all that, I mean I know a couple who are friends of some friends of MM, telling me that MM is mad. I mean really?? How do you know? Are you telling some other person, that I am mad too?? Let the answer be bygones but can you believe people discussing people whom they have not met?
I guess popularity makes you infamous. Like public opinion, saying, I hate Aishwarya (read- she is so successful while I am a failure), But I like Sushmita (read- because she was beaten by Aishwarya, and I know how that feels, because I know many who are happier and more successful than me). Well, I adore both since they are just awesome successful beauties. Can you imagine what a tragic scene it could be if you have people around you who have the chronic bad habit of mad mouthing?

My earliest experience of this was at college. I was new and when our hostel list was declared I agreed to share the room with the first girl I met. Her name was Jennifer and she was from Ranchi. I was happy. She was from St. Stephen's, History, here for a Masters in Internationals Studies. Quite impressive! I agreed. I have to confess I was very messy. I mean I had lived in a hostel but never shared rooms. In my residential school, we never really had to make beds, wash or iron clothes. There we had people who did that for us. So this was new and just a week old in my new room I was so freaky and messy. But when I would come back from my outing with my classmates or class. I would see my clothes all neatly piled and arranged for me. When I told this to my friends, they asked me to be careful. But, I did not worry. I was happy, I loved been taken care of, with someone who took care of all the tedious jobs and I had more time to sit and sip my chai, share plates full pakoras and spend late nights with friends under the starry nights.
A week after I got my room, my father came to visit me. He had brought 2 suitcases full of my clothes and other requirements. And my mother had sent me few thousand rupees, hidden in the suitcase which my father did not know. She had put it along with a pillowcase, in a jewelry pouch. My father had come directly from the station to meet me so I did not sit to check the stuff, left the suitcases under the bed and the keys in my drawer and went out with my father to the Guest House.
In the evening, when I came back the money was nowhere to be found. My clothes, that I had left to dry outside were folded neatly on my bed. There was also a note from Jennifer, informing me that she will not be back for the weekend. (she did not come back till Wednesday)
I called my mother, who has a strong intuition said that its my roommate. I could not point a finger on anyone But my gut kept telling me to talk to Jennifer. I did not want to spoil our relations, I liked her but still I had to do this, just to be sure? I confronted her. I thought maybe she would be angry with me and accuse me of being careless. But instead this girl gets on her knees and pleads me that she has not stolen the money and is not a thief. I was so taken aback by her reaction I could not say anything more to her. I went to the senior girls, for help. But this girl, cried and cried in front of everyone and asked me to spare her because she was not the culprit. I asked her to leave the room, instead, she said that since I was such a good roomie she does not want to go anywhere. But I tried with all my might, talked with the hostel proctor, the other officials and made her leave the room(I am very proud and stubborn). In the process I made a silly promise that I unbelievably kept(I am very silly). I would not tell people the real story. We agreed to say that we had differences therefore in mutual agreement she moved down the hall.
After a week, I had a new roommate. I instantly liked this girl. But she preferred to stay aloof and not talk to me at all. We lived like strangers for two months, not talking to each other. I did not care so much since I was always with my friends, the only time I was found in my room was to sleep. I did not even stay in my room to study since my new roomie was so disturbingly aloof.
But since we came back from holidays, we began to talk. God's plans are so beautiful. She turned out to be from Lucknow and we found that we had common friends. Now, she knew something about my background and past. She had heard some nice things about me this time. This time it was someone she knew and not a stranger, with no validity. The interaction grew, we found pleasant commonalities in our differences. And after quite a considerable time she told me that she had heard some bad rumors about me and dreaded to be my roommates.
The afternoon she came looking for the only room empty on our floor had she met Jennifer, the so called nice girl, from Ranchi, whose mother is a christian teacher and father a Bank Officer told my now room mate that I was a "bad girl" who went out with boys late at night for money. There are many terms to define and explain that. So I will not waste much space on my blog to explain those. Although, I can declare publicly, that this girl now works for some international NGO (and now we know why we have scams, with more than one people like this around). I know all this due to all the social websites like, Facebook and orkut, and common tags still trailing on.
Once my beloved roomie and I spoke openly about everything and by now she knew all my friends, girls and boys!! We became closer. We would always take our meals together and I really came to depend on her. We went shopping together, long walks but the best were the long, very long discussions we had always taking opposing sides. It was so much fun.

But this particular incident has taught me one lesson- Never to trust people at their face value. Just because they seem cool and with educational degrees, does not mean they are good human beings and trusting friends. In fact, I am not close to anyone who called themselves my friend but sympathised with that thief's, crocodile tears. Those I count as fair weather friends. Just because I don't cry does not mean that I am not hurt. I rarely cry when I am hurt. Guess, I am too shocked to cry.

So the lessons learnt-
1. Never be friends with people who enjoy bad mouthing others.
2. Avoid people who are too sweet on the face.
3. Always shoot your words straight even if it hurts the other person. If they do not understand your good intentions then its their lose.
4. Always keep your friends close to your heart.

The empty jewelery pouch was later put in my drawer. who would do that??

An apology and the week's update

2008-06-27T11:18:00.000-07:00

To all my well wishers, who expect me to return their calls or buzz them a how-dee!

Knock knock!

Whose there?

Police

Police who?

Police accept my apologies!!

I am a procrastinator. I have been forever. Also, I am not too fond of the phone. My red Blackberry has not been able to help me. Although, I use it obsessively for the Internet and games. I am keeping busy- reading, watching TV, movies, writing, researching, cleaning the house, with my music. etc. etc. And when I remember all the calls that I have to make its not the appropriate time. I have not spoken to my mother, the past week. Although I am not worried that she maybe upset since she is with my brother right now. Or else, I would have put a reminder to make through the call to her. If its any consolation, I have missed many of SH's calls and that has resulted in fewer calls from him, i.e just about 2 or 3 calls a day.

So I apologise I will call you soon.

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I have a new hair cut. I think I have become an expert at styling my hair. I asked SH to trim my hair but he refuses to touch the scissors and my shears. Its been almost a year since I had my hair styled and the parlour girl straightened it, thus began my self styling days. The first week, I got back from the parlor, after the razor cut and straightening, I must have cut my hair almost everyday. I thought my hair was too long and not sure if it suited me. So it was no use spending $$ when my hair looks nothing like how I left the salon. Right now my hair is quite long, but then, I don't want them that long and neither do I care for a short hair style. I was not sure what would happen sitting on the stylist chair and so I took my hair in my hands!

I think I did a good job and they look the way I wanted them to look last year- Step cut and quite nice. I don't feel like straightening and will give it a break for sometime. Its becoming a big bore with every Jane straightening her mane!! I am enjoying the waves that my hair makes.

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Yesterday, I went shopping at Costco. I have got used to shop alone something I dreaded doing not so long ago. I saw these two young Indian wives shopping alone. They were so giggly and school girlish. They made me smile. I wouldn't have guessed that they were moms if I hadn't seen them picking baby clothes. I miss having friends but I don't have any with whom I can be a giggly girl. Right now all the people I know I cant imagine myself being all funny and cute.Its, mostly, dinners,gossips, random picnic or barbecue. No real activities as such. How wierd is that!! The only person I truly enjoyed my time being silly with post marriage, lives in NC and to think she was my senior is school seems light years away. I miss you. Sorry, I haven't called you either (So see the rest must not complain). But, then you have a very very busy life.

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I am a greedy and selfish person. My greediness is at its prime when it comes to books. I am listening to one and reading one. And magazines are not even included. I have membership to three libraries and I have more than 2 books from all of them. My night table does not have a space to keep my glass of water at night. I dislike returning books but I now have the sense not to buy all the books I want since my household runs on a budget! I have a research paper deadline rushing on me and still I take out more time for my casual reading and blog. I am so greedy about books.

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I did a lot of cooking and cleaning this week. I enjoyed it. Made some new stuff and trying to revive some cooking that reminds me of my childhood. Esp. Kaanch kola, fried rice like mom, and lau. Also, made an interesting blueberry smoothie with cream cheese. It came off so good that I am totally inspired.

And, have seen 12 movies in the last 3 weeks. But SH's summer semester is on again. Will post the movie list next, since I enjoyed all the movies. Most of them are laugh riots so I need it on this roll.

Where the Hell is Matt?

2008-06-25T11:17:00.000-07:00

Ans- He is living a Heavenly life.

Matt's way is one of the best forms, that gives many people the hope, including me that whatever comes we are all one and together. We are more similar and that we still have the strength to feel happiness when we see another being smile. And, the fact that we are more similar than different from each other.
We smile when we are happy and dance when we include everyone in our happiness. And by dancing together we make everyone smile and laugh with us.

By the way, This is such a cute and sweet way to dance Matt.
Its difficult to email Matt so I am really wondering if someone would know whose is the background score. It sounds much like Bengali. See, I am looking for similarities. (added: Did I say it sounded Bengali, yup because it is. They Lyrics are from Tagore's Gitanjali - Stream of life or Praan. Sung by Palbasha Sidiqque and music scored by Gary Schyman.

Also, you can check the stride gum website and Matt's dancing there.
I enjoyed the dances shots that did not make it to the final edit.
I Leave you with one and you can explore the rest.

Happiness Always.

Compassion is crime-

2008-06-24T14:03:00.001-07:00

Just got back from the library. Was checking news from India online, while my lunch defrosted in the microwave. This piece of news caught my attention. Do the officials even understand what they are doing? Does anyone really know what is the truth?

All I understand from this is that all three, the man, his daughter and the sloth bear have been put into separate prisons or zoo whichever term you want to use. One family is destroyed by the silly idiots called civil servants, who have studied for 18 hrs and lost their minds once they got through the exams.

I pray the man is reunited with his daughter at least.

A whole day of ironing and lesson on saving gas.....

2008-06-23T23:27:00.000-07:00

... I also got the time to smell summer blossoms.

SH surprised me by taking a break right after the weekend and worked from home. So I surprised him by organising his wardrobe and ironed his laundry. It was my day's work. I ironed everything and that includes the night pajamas and all. In the process I became an expert in this art and realized its not that bad. I like ironing, I guess!!
I read on someones blog that she is happy when she washes utensils and scrubs the floor. Ironing sounds so much better than that form of happiness.

Can you believe those Piles and then there is more!!

I got some time to sit on my veranda in the afternoon under the shade of the old pine and look at the pretty view. It was bright and warm today and the flowers are in full bloom. California is officially going through drought period and water warnings have been summoned. At least that is not affecting the blooms here. The grass is dry on the hills and the Lexington reservoir is as dry as chapped skin. Worrisome. I hope winters bring some monsoons here.

In the evening, I got to drive the green car. Yesterday, SH drove and the consumption on the car screen read 99.9miles/gallon* . It was such a kick watching it. Some miracle, it was that we have never seen before. Keeping my fingers crossed for that to happen more often. The gas is running at $4.56 right now. And our bill for last month was $120. The month before it was much below $100. With 2 cars and SH covering around 60miles per day. It was quite a feat.
But, 99.9 was just a dream. Too bad that we drove just a few miles on that rate.

Today, when I drove, I brought down the average real bad. straight down to 49/gallon. That's when SH told me its all about the toe. I must put my whole foot on the accelerator for balanced weight, instead of the toe. I think it works because the car did react towards the positive direction(is there a pun?). Also, I observed the car is very touchy. She does not like to be handled roughly. You have to be gentle with her while pressing the brake or accelerate. She listens better and thus reacts better. Once I got the hang of it, I was able to get up to 53/gallon.

Nay, not 99.9 yet.

But, lesson learnt: Patience and Politeness, saves gas!!

* I am not talking about the Freeway though. This is only within the city roads.

MTV India

2008-06-19T21:40:00.000-07:00

Check the comments box of Perez Hilton's post on the MTV India attack by the Sikhs.

Interesting discussions. Just go through the comments and think over them.

Some of the people are just living to hurt and be offensive towards anyone who differs from them. Such actions do not come just from ignorance but from an inherent desire to be malice.

To be humane and sensitive towards others, one does not need to be highly educated. Its sad that we have to even argue about such things.

A New Planet

2008-06-19T21:19:00.000-07:00

Now we have Planet X .
And I have a bulb moment!
If Planet M stands for Music, what does Planet X imply?
Wink ;)Winkie ;) Wink ;)

Root Canal is a cruise...

2008-06-17T22:12:00.000-07:00

..... and I can't help saying that. Monday, I had my first root canal treatment experience.

The general update that I have received from friends about root canal treatment is that it is a painfully traumatic experience. Last year, after all the praises on my dental health, the dentist informed me politely that I needed one root canal treatment. I was mortified. All the horrific stories that I had heard from my mother, my friends and more recently SH came rushing in. I did not want to see the dentist anymore and kept cursing the last dentist, back in India, who was responsible of this calamity. Five years ago, I had two of my teeth treated and instead of of the expensive enamel filling I opted for silver filling. That was the wrong decision. One of the filling came off two years later. That tooth went from bad to worse and now I needed a root canal. I never had the time and reason to go to the doctor once I came here for my Masters. I had a student medical insurance which did not cover dental and eye care. They were not compulsory insurances and I never purchased them.

With marriage come expectations and insurances. House, fire, earthquake, life but the one that absolutely eats our paycheck is the medical insurance. The first year of our marriage we visited a doctor maybe once. But during tax season when I realized how much we were donating away to the medical insurance guys, I was flabbergasted. Firstly, I changed the health plan from PPO to POS. Because, SH put his foot down against the HMO plan. POS was not so bad and since the Stanford Hospital is so close to our house, I was sure we had good medical personals close in our hands. Our family doctor was picked from Stanford. And the one complimentary dental inspection was done at someplace that was within the medical group.

This year we changed our plan to PPO once more because SH pleases so. Under the PPO plan, you get to pick the best of doctors and dentists, of your own preference, anywhere within US. SH did the picking and we went. The dentist did his routine check up and asked me to see a endodontist. I had never even cared to know that dental surgeons who specialize on root canals are known as "ENDODONTIST". All the horrific stories that I had heard came rushing in. When I told Ma about my oncoming root canal date with the surgeon, her 5 seconds pause followed by cooing sympathies were enough to shake my roots (no dental puns intended!!).

But, I kept repeating that it will not be difficult for me and it wasn't. In fact it was like a dream. The doctor was more like a Resort Spa masseur than a Doctor. I don't think the doctor would like this comparison but I cant get a more apt comparison. I was about five minutes late for the appointment. So they made me comfortable on the dentist's chair and then gave me the required compulsory forms to fill. It looked and felt more like I was their for a facial rather than a root canal. The X-rays we taken by the assistant. I have a tiny mouth and so x-rays of my back tooth are always uncomfortable. Once we got over with that and the form fill ups. The doctor came in. He asked me the usual questions if my teeth were sensitive? My last dental visit? How long before I knew about my cavity. And I told him the story of my filling, falling off and my consequent visit to him.The doctor made me very comfortable as I told him about all the painful stories I had heard. He assured me that root canal is not painful and I must let him know. The doctor gave me two injections. After waiting for 15 mins for the anesthesia to take effect the doctors started the process. For the next 40 min I just sat there and it was a cruise. At one point I just closed my eyes and was on the verge of dosing off. I woke up only because of the laughable thought that I was actually relaxing while a root canal was taking place on none other but me.

What an experience!

In the end doctor told me, you have been a wonderful patient and I said, no you are just awesome. Of course he found it funny. I came out to the reception area and SH looked critical,. He couldn't believe I was laughing and talking to the doctor, the assistant, the receptionist. He wanted to see my tooth and make sure that work was done. The doctor came to assure SH that root canal is not that bad.

And then I looked at the bill. The bill for my one root canal was enough to buy me a round trip ticket to India and back on Singapore Airline, Economy. Good that about 80% will be paid by the insurance. And even better that we had decided on having a annual medical account. SH told me that he had paid less than half of the amount on his root canal some 4 years back and that experience had made him averse to dental routines. I had not a single painful second. SH seemed more shocked than relived. He was so shocked that he asked me to drive his green car.
Even after the anesthesia wore off I did not feel pain. I was allowed to eat anything and no restrictions..
Quite uneventful and comfortable can that be said about root canal? Yes, I can.

Is there anyone out there who agrees with me?

More of God's Creations...

2008-06-17T21:18:00.000-07:00

... who have recently joined all of us on this earth. Or should I say being acknowledged by the human world.

Sun and sand time...

2008-06-15T21:16:00.001-07:00

The weather has been wonderful and warm in the bay area for quite sometime. We have a break of a week before SH starts with his summer semester. So today we planned a day at the beach before SH starts with his classes once again and before the typical Bay weather messes with our weekend plans. So today we took off towards the beach. It was a clear blue sky day and there was not a single cloud on the horizon. A perfect opportunity to use our new beach umbrella. The temperature was at its peak but it was breezy. Loaded with cool drinks, beach handy food, sun block, shades and ever important camera we drove to our favourite sand spot.

Our favorite beach is a tiny patch of sand sandwiched between a cliff and the sea. The only way to get there is a steep and narrow wooden steps which can be destroyed by the mighty Pacific any day as I have witnessed many times over here along the California coast. In reality it may be defined as a cove instead of a beach. Since it was so breezy the waves were bigger than usual and the small beach looked smaller than usual to the two of us. in fact the waves were so wild today that they were coming right till the wooden steps. We had to pick our sandals in our hands along with the all the stuff we already had our hands full with and then make a run towards the beach cove across the rocks trying to dodge the waves trying to drench us. once we were safe on the other side we went right at the back against the cliff and spread our beach towels, set the umbrella and took in the panoramic view.

In spite of the breeze and the high waves, the place was bustling with sun and sand lovers and surfers. The mast were flowing high on the yachts. It was a pretty sight against the blue Pacific and clear blue sky. The sight of surfers waiting for the next best wave to surf ride over it against the huge yacht against the background is lovely to look at. The dogs swimming against the wave currents to catch the ball was a fun sight. And the young kids dressed for their first surf lessons was touching to watch.

I had my current read with me but I was never able to go more than 10 pages. I did not want to miss any activity that was going around me as I lazed in the sun. The kids building sand castles, the playful dogs all drenched, the surf boards and the sea gulls busy fishing was exciting to watch.

Here are some pictures which say more than words. We left in the evening promising ourselves that we will do this more often.

Tathastu.

My favorite pic has been uploaded here.

The World Beyond....

2008-06-14T20:40:00.000-07:00

...Our world is spectacular when it thrives and just as spectacular when it expires.

Beautiful pictures captured of the far, far galaxies that make us look at them with awe and wonder.
These pictures have been released by NASA.

On a lighter now they look like inspiration for some creative designs and colors.

But a reminder that all beautiful things come to an end but will be remembered till eternity because of their impressive nature.

Keeps my Idleness Busy -

2008-06-12T22:23:00.001-07:00

My usual time pass, blog hopping, took me to India Uncut and read this news that I thought is funny. The whole Jury being dismissed because they were caught playing Sudoku during the trial- Can't blame them its addictive. I also found Sudoku through a blog. I went online to search more about the game, came upon the online web site and got hooked. I have spent many a days rushing through my daily chores so that I could spend my hours solving the puzzles. I even contemplated buying some Sudoku digests that were sold in my university book store but mostly I played online. I would often make print outs and keep them in my purse so that I would play on the way. Travelling on BART or Cal train, while waiting in the doctor's reception, any place where I was made to wait a few minutes I would search my bag and find an incomplete puzzle.

I also had a scrabble galore for sometime in between. I had registered myself with an scrabble website online and spent my afternoons playing scrabble with strangers. It was fun because one could play at the same time chat up with their opponents. I discouraged that part but sometimes it is fun just to know where the other person lives. Like once the person told me he was in Australia and I forgot to ask him what the time was at his end to verify he was telling the truth. But it was an online game and scrabble is not a mobile game with all the board and the cubes. I can't play it on the go.

My current favorite game is chess. It reminds me on my childhood. I learnt the game when I was in class VI. One of my grandmother's friends who was a neighbor came to our house during the afternoons. My grandmother had a habit of taking an afternoon nap and nothing could make her miss her siesta. So while she took her nap her friend taught my brother and me to play chess. After that many an afternoon the three of us would have competitions among the three of us and my brother and me actually got very good at it. Practice makes a man perfect as they say. But once the holidays got over we had to go back to our schools where both, my brother and me we were into outdoor sports and other curricular activities and chess took a back seat until we had our vacations.Now that my computer has the chess game installed in it. I am back to playing chess with the computer and I am so hooked to the game once again. This is one of the big reasons that I am unable to finish my book reviews as planned and they are piling high as the notes I make wait patiently next to my night stand.

The World Through the Lens

2008-06-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

This is what part of the world had to go through today. And New York Times assembled them in an album of 15 pictures. The only peaceful picture according to me, is of the torrential monsoons of Mumbai. Every other picture tells a tragic story of natural, economic, political, or ethnic upheaval. A couple on sports is a last minute relief.

The pictures talk about- Pakistan bombed by the US Air force. The fuel strike in Spain killed people. Chinese earth quake survivors living in the open with no shelter over their head. Kenya going through a political chaos which has left hundreds dead and thousands homeless. Ocean life is threatened after another major oil spill killer near Uruguay coast. Midwest in terrible state and now has to bear power cuts as well.

Some good news on the spots front for some soccer lovers as Euro 2008 soccer championships go on.

When Gossip Becomes Stilettoes

2008-06-11T13:19:00.000-07:00

Sometime ago Pandora's box voiced, that women can not do without gossip. I doubt if there is any living soul with their heads on the right shoulders who will ever deny the claim. But calling women gossip harmless is like declaring Roses do not prick. We all know better than that - They have thorns and one has to be very, very careful while plucking or handling them.

There must be few if any who don't appreciate " Sex and the City" and they may have their own reasons for that. But for women it must have been one unanimous decision. The ideal friend to whom you can run to in the middle of the night and she comes to your rescue even if she has to leave the best *** activity of the night. The “Sex and the City” scenario is a dream situation. Where 4 women with absolute myriad temperaments, needs and social standing come together and are San any malice. I will forever find it difficult to palate that in real life with my post college experiences, but then “SAC” is an ideal thought of the writer where, every girl can bake a cake and eat it too!

The movie released 2 weeks ago and I have yet to see it. But before that I finished watching the reality show of the Real Housewives, season2, which featured a group of NY socialites. The situations given were believable, had a lot of drama, competition, jealousy, I-am-better-than-you moments and wanna be desperates. But in the end you have to put your best foot forward, smile at everyone and savour the moment you are thrown in and behind their back grind your teeth and swear under you breath that you have never met such bull heads ever, even if you are literally one of them, when among them. No one is perfect and the sooner we accept it the better.

I think many of us have experienced the wonderful camaraderie during our college and school life, where you have one special friend who is always alert to your needs. Who is there to take the daily walks with you, who will suppress her fear of darkness to accompany you to the loos in the middle of the night, who will fore go the lunch fruit share for you because you have kept a fast, who will wake up early in the morning to give you your medicine because you have a habit to forget, that special friend who reads your thoughts and completes your sentences. To spend every waking hour together study, play and gossip. Situations where none of your inner thoughts can be hidden and you want it exactly that way.

Not many people may have experienced such friendships. If you have not experienced it you will not miss it. And its something that is difficult to replace once its gone. But, marriages take you to different shores and childhood friends become random emails and once in a blue moon phone calls. And the search is again on for that one who will be your therapy mate. Age and some experiences teach you to be cautious as well as suspicious of fair weather entities. And so gossip will never be held as harmless for me.

The lesson I have learnt is that don't make any opinion about anyone until you have spent at least 4 of your consecutive weekends with them.
I guess checking people in groups and as individual is a good idea. I have seen people behave different when they are alone with you and when they are in a group of friends.
Always listen to the tiny voice inside which will guide you in the direction that's best.
Stay away from people who are into too much of negative gossiping about others. Chances are, you will top the list, in your absence.

Lifetime of A Life

2008-06-05T23:11:00.000-07:00

Ask a person their motto and their is a reasonably high probability that someone will say that their life's motto is "Live as if this is the last day of your life". I have been thinking of this particular phase for a couple of days since I just finished Garcia Marquez's work " Chronicle of a Death Foretold" and it made me think, what would I do with the last 24 hours of my life? So I decided to sit back and take the time to look at myself and the things around me.

I would never like to live so far away from home if i knew that I had only 24 hours to live. I would want to be near my parents and my brother. Although, I love my relatives and friends a lot. I think the only quality time I would like to spend with would be SH, my parents and brother. Before I left home for my residential school I prefered to keep quiet, talk to no one and just feel the house, the walls and the presence of my loved ones around me who would go about their usual chores. That is exactly what I would like to do on the last day of my life. Just look deep into each ones eyes and let them understand without my speaking, how much I love and appreciate them. Eat all my meals of the day with them together, watch the TV and go for a walk in the garden, water the plants and pluck some lilies and bring them for ma just like my dad does on some days. See her smile and go about her chores like any ordinary day.
In the afternoon while my ma takes an afternoon nap and Baba is out on an errand and brother is with one of his friends SH and I sit and read a book together before we take an afternoon siesta. We get up soon after to go up on the terrace and feel the heat of the sun and take cover under the shade that Baba has built.

Eagerly wait for the evening tea time and rush to make the tea while my brother ans SH stand there watching me and eager to help with anything possible. I serve the cake that I made in the afternoon for everyone and my Baba cant help being proud of me that I make such a wonderful cake. And we all sit together on the veranda and sip at our cups while watching the kids play cricket in the park in front of our house. Comment at the passing neighbours and wave a friendly hand at them. Sit in the veranda till the dusk turns into night and the mosquitoes come to feast on us. Then run inside and quickly close the net doors before my mom comes to check at us. all of us sit together and watch the TV together and listen to the local and national news. Watch mom's favorite serial with her and then help her set the table for dinner. Make the perfect round rotis for the last time and serve the ones that I made to Baba and hear him appreciate them and tell me that I must do it everyday for him fully aware that I will not.

After dinner I serve everyone the pudding I made for dessert see each one's eyes lit up while my mom just looks at me as if saying that you spoil them with this once in a blue moon feast and I will have to bear their complaints forever.
I look at her and grin much aware that time is fleeting by. Then all of us sit around the dining table and talk till the wee hours, the past, school, work, cousins, news and politics and the prices of fish and oil, the future. We laugh a lot together and feel as close to each other as it has ever been possible. And get up and go to bed after hugging my parents and brother. SH and I will go to sleep for the next day would bring something different for everyone.
I realized my last day said nothing about bog ambitions, gold and wealth. these things do not even come to my mind. So are they not important to me. My last day I would prefer to be just as simple ans sweet as it has always when I am home. And that is the most important thing for me.
I do not see myself doing nothing but be close to the most important people of my life.

Well, now ask me what I would do if I have a year before I leave this earth, and that would be a totally different scene. I will need 365posts to explain that ;))

Happy B'day

2008-05-23T15:56:00.001-07:00

Its SH's B'day today.

I wish You a wonderful life. And pray that each of your dreams becomes a reality. SH is a very caring and considerate person. I surely take undue advantage of SH, is the popular legend that circulates among family. But then he is the way he is. He is efficient in everything that he does. He works overtime, is an MBA student, in spite of that I can't complain of any negligence. Living so far from family and close friends the only true companion I have is SH and he is well aware of that. Like true pals we share common activities, hiking, swimming and daydreaming and then lengthy discussions of those dreams.
I am quite forgetful and like a true mate he never lets me forget my chores, to do lists, faults , shortcomings, also the fact that I love him. On Valentine's day, he presented me with a golden Vaio laptop with personalized inscription. As I sit and type, I see the inscription in front of me which reads bright and happy that I love SH.Yes, its only me who needs this reminder. Isn't it enough that in two years he bought me the third laptop after I broke the last two. Courage and sense of humor in plenty, I dare say.
He is caring. He is a softy at heart while he tries to show a tough exterior. But almost everyone can see through that he has a tough time saying no to anyone, especially a friend. He is creative and he has plans to write a book on the infinite names that he has for me.

This Year SH's B'day falls on a long weekend and so I hope to celebrate it the whole weekend. And as ardent Bengali what better gift than substantial indulgence with victual pleasures. So I planned a whole weekend full of a new surprise each day for SH. I made payash as a dinner special since it was already his birthday in India. At midnight I sprang the almond-chocolate cake and the gift, sang the birthday song and spent the night watching "Gladiator" again. The next day I made malai curry and roasted garlic potatoes his favorites among the rest. the cheesecake comes soon.
In all this one thing that I have learnt is that its very difficult to keep secrets from the person whom you love and have always shared your inner thoughts. But be able to surprise them and be able to make their eyes shine like a child is priceless.

Another lesson well learnt and reinforced each time is that happiness is in small things. watching a movie together, a relaxing massage, a lazy day at the beach and sharing cool water from a bottle after a tough hike. These are the things that make us happy and bring us closer and give us the strength to pull through the tough times: like when I have my mood swings, when one of us is running a high temperature and needs some love, when one has to work overtime, study late nights and spend more time on group studies, while the other has to sit home alone, skip get together parties and miss the India trips because the other one does not have a holiday time.

But As the years pass we are getting still closer . I appreciate every effort that You make for me and I am truly grateful to God for this beautiful life.
A Very Happy B'day to You Hero!

Congratulations Kalyan

2008-05-17T11:54:00.000-07:00

Early morning I open my inbox and there is this beautiful mail from my friend Kalyan announcing the Birth of his daughter. I was stunned for a few seconds. I knew it that he was going to become a dad and I know as does everyone who knows Kalyan that he can easily grab the best Dad award in near future but still when these beautiful moments come they always come with such unexpected emotions. I am so happy and excited for him. And I so much wish that I could be nearer to his family to be a part of it, share it and hold it in my memory for eternity.

He is one of my best friends. I love and respect him so much. He made my stay in Delhi so much pleasant and easy. Every problem and difficulty I had I would run to him and he would with his calm assurance would help me hurdle it away. He is this most adorable IITian that I have ever met who does not try to rub it in the fact that he is an IITian. He is Fun-loving, helpful and the most generous person that I have every met. I remember how one of his cousins was so jealous that Kalyan and me could be such good friends and tried to play the ladka-ladki bogus card but it did not affect our relationship. I knew that the he was a person who could be trusted at any hour and he never failed me. He was my math teacher when I took my GRE exams and I can vouch for his patience. We used to have booze parties at his place when Soumen another of my cool friends and Kalyan's cousin whom I thank all times to have introduced me to Kalyan. And some friends of Soumen, all of us would eat, drink and sing together. We once had a bonfire on the terrace of Kalyan's apartment my first and last terrace bonfire.
God must really love me to let me have a friend like him.

In between I was a little upset with him because he did not attend my marriage because of some prior engagements. But that's a thing I can not hold against a friend who has been nothing but the best to me and to everyone who meets him.

And now my loving friend and his very, very beautiful wife Sweta are blessed with a sweet daughter. I can't wait for my trip to India so that I can meet him and his most adorable family.

I miss you a lot and I constantly talk about you, my friend. Everyone must have a friend like you who makes us a better person.
All the very best to you and my heartiest congratulations.

Rules of Engagement!

2008-05-12T11:09:00.001-07:00

This is an interesting article I read in Vanity Fair the April'8 issue.
Not only is it funny and keeps one entertained but is also quite useful so I think I will store it for future use if need be :-))
its in two parts for the husband and wife with a coloumn division. but since I can't do that on the blog I will do the Don't for the wife first and then the men.
Dont't For the Wives
>> Don't expect your husband to be an angel. you would get very tired of him if he were.
>> Don't let him have to search the house for you. Listen for his latch key and meet him on the threshold.
>> Don't let your husband wear a violet tie with grass-green socks. if he is unhappily devoid of the color sense, he must be forcibily restrained, but- don't be sarcastic about your husband's taste in dress.
>> Don't try too hard to regulate your husband's pleasures, and dont be jealous if they don't always include you.
>> Don't try to excite your husband's jealousy by flirting with other men. you may succeed better than you want to. it is like playing with tigers and edged tools and volcanoes. all in one.
>> Don't bother your husband with a stream of sensless chatter if you can see that he is fatigued.
>> Don't forget to wish your husband good morning when he sets off to the office. He will feel the lack of your good bye kiss all day.
>> Don't moralize by way of winning back the love that seems to be waning. Make yourself extra charming and arrange delicious dinners which include all your husband's favorite dishes.

Don't for husbands

>> Don't be surprised, or annoyed, or disappointed, to find, after treating your wife for years as a featherbrain, that you have made her one, and that she fails to rise to the occasion when you need her help.

>> Don't slouch. No one who cares for a man like to see him acquire a slouching habit.

>> Don't forget that character is more important than genius. If your wife is a true woman, dont worry about the rest.

>> Don't scrowl or look severe. Cultivate a pleasant expression even if nature hasn't blessed you with one.

>> Don't drop, when alone with your wife, the little courtesies youwould offer to other women. For instance, always get up to open the door, as she would for a lady guest.

>> Don't insist upon having the last word. If you know when to drop an argument you are a wise man.

>> Don't argue that a new hat isn't necessary because there is nothing visibily wrong with with the one she is wearing. You probably have forgotten that this is its third season, but she hasn't.

>> Don't give up cricket, or football ... or whatever outdoor sport you have been accustomed to just because you are married. Atheletics will keep you from becoming flabby.

>> Don't selfishly refuse to go out in the evening because you have been among other people all day. Remember that your wife hasn't, and a change is good for her.

This is a great piece and I will surely have to come back to review it with my own experiences of it.

Comedy live, Youthfulness alive!!

2008-05-05T14:01:00.001-07:00

Last year at a friend's B'day party I met this sweet vivacious girl. We connected instantly and I made a note to myself to keep in touch with her. But that did not happen and we lost touch. But I did keep thinking of her often because I felt that we shared the same wavelength. Luckily, we got in touch some time ago. But each time we made a plan to meet, something came up. So when she made a plan for a comedy club, I did not have a heart to negate.

It was a beautiful Saturday when the four of us met. All of us connected instantly that was a start to a great evening. My friend's husband had pre-planned the dinner venue. We had dinner at this small but bustling Mexican place. Everyone being in a much vibrant and adventurous mood, ordered a superabundant table. Quails, rabbit, clams, scallops, nothing amiss. The food was excellent and the company fun. With a happy stomach we were ready for the comedy place. Punchline is San Francisco's prime comedy club.

The show had started when we reached. The table we were escorted, was in clear view of the performers. We missed the first stand up comedian but there were still 2 more guest comedians before the featured stand up comedian, Gregg Poop took the stage. I think his name itself has a funny ring to it. To be born with a name like Mr. Poop... and you are already on the way to comedy club!! Poop's gained popularity through the popular show "Whose line is it anyways?" That was hosted and, if am not wrong produced by Drew Carey, the one who tries to be funny but, according to me tries just too hard. but the guys that he picks for the show are just too good, very intelligent and very funny. Each comic had the calibre to hold the audience attention on their own and so can you think how good they were with four of such potential running for the trophy. That show made me want to be one of the "last comic standing" right there among them. I was a big fan of theirs . This comedy reality show was on of the lineup for Monday comedy and I was always stationed in front of the television set at the hour that it aired ready with my laughter. That was in 2001- 2003. So I was looking forward to some laugh time which reminded me of those "youthful" days full of sunshine.

Being late wasn't a drawback as we got one of the seat that was right in the front but had a side view of the stage. Not bad at all when you are sure to laugh loud and the hardest and catch the attention of the comedian and he would look at you more than once to get an acknowledgement. One of the rules of the comedy club was that minimum of 2 drinks each person. That is called loot in India. I mean you have already snatch quite a bit from my purse already and instead of offering me a free drinks with the roasted peanut I am forced to buy not one but 2 drinks? Really, are the stand ups that bad that you are worried that I will not find him funny enough without the concoction?

We had a good time laughing and drinking. But truly, if I am asked to narrate the jokes then I will have to ask pardon. In general there we quite a few and some Sexually intended jokes. Which reminded me of some of my BONG connections who complained that jesters in America means sex they can not go any further than that. And then there were gay and lesbian jokes which we laughable but also could widely be put into the sex category. I remember Gregg had some good joke for San Francisco and more specific to the mural at the back of the stage. The joke were spontaneous and funny. But by then I had got so used to laughing that I was laughing at the "jokes" even when I couldn't hear them properly because of my own laughter. Yeah! I said I am a laugh-out-loud person. So I can not narrate a full perfect joke from the comedy night. It ended 30 min before midnight.

Later the four of us had our own comedy discussion, whether we were laughing at the jokes was it the double drinks bubbling! All in all the show was fun. And a first of something I was interested for quite sometime and the experience was a good one in good company.

If you are in good company nothing can stop it from being a success.

You are my friend..

2008-04-25T21:55:00.000-07:00

.. because your eyes light up whenever you see me and that reflects in my eyes. instead of saying "nice dress where did you get it from?" you tell me how happy you are to see me and can't wait to share everything that's on your mind.

.. because I cant wait to talk to you even if I have spent the whole day with you and just have to obligate my family sometimes.

.. because many of my firsts have been you, my first disc visit, first dance party, first booze party nothing would be complete without you.

.. because when I am lonely and need some love, you are the person I come to.

.. because when I see you laugh I find myself filled with joy.

.. because now I remember how you would eagerly wait for me to comeback and narrate my whole days happenings to you. And similarly I couldn't wait to come back to our room to tell you everything running through my mind and want your opinion on everything.

.. because you are the one who takes care of me when I am down in spirits or running a high temperature.

.. because you never form opinions based on other people's baseless prejudices. and take your own sweet time to come to a logical conclusion. Even if it is something negative about a person you have a method that is so your own to come to that decision.

.. because in spite of your serious/studious temperament you have always entertained my funny bone. Many of my friends still wonder how my closest lot is always the serious thinking minds while I am one of the comic head making the odd stand out. Even I wonder on that one but still we make a good pair!

.. because in spite of having a gift for gab, I cant wait to hear your voice and love listening to you forever. I also enjoyed the scholarly doses from you and the long hours we would spend analysing each others lives and the constant psychological dissections we did of each other.

.. because no amount of distance or time lapse can ever strain the strings that tie our heart

.. because whenever I meet you the months, years and decades stand meaningless and we are again the carefree adolescents back in the School.

..because I can never say or hear a word against you and keep waiting to hear from you even though there may be no response from you for long periods. I am sure you will have the same complain from me but always keep in mind I love you and that you are always in my mind and heart.

.. because I am so proud of your every achievement. Every time you make it, to one of your milestones remember there is one more person who is just as happy for you. And I know you are just as happy at each of my success stones.

.. because whenever I need a shoulder to rest and a hug for comfort you are never too far from me.

.. because whenever I think of you, my eyes moisten and lips curve in a smile and I know how lucky I am to have you as a friend.

HAPPY HOLI!!!

2008-03-22T16:13:00.000-07:00

A Very Happy Holi to the beautiful ever colourful world. I am spending HOLI on the couch while S is taking his sem finals. No mandir or colors for me. But thats alright because some day I will have have a wonderful holi celebrations with colours and gujias, like old days. In the mean time I am happy with a long chat with my loved ones first thing in the morning!! Love you ma, baba, Tinks and his beloved. I know this Holi brings you all a lot of love and happiness.
I would always read wonderful posts done by Boo and how her family loves to pop surprises to the joy of others. Surprises seem so special and I tend to believe that it brings people closer. The raw emotions that you are able to witness on the target-subject is priceless.
So when my father narrated how my brother and my sister- in law surprised my parents it brought me to tears of happiness. I am overwhelmed with love for my brother and my sister-in-law.
Friday morning my brother called my parents to wish them a Happy Holi and convey his regards. During the course of conversation my brother told my dad that he was standing on the balcony and drinking tea. In reality he was on his way to Lucknow to visit my parents. And in after an hour or so later when my father got the best surprise when he saw a cab pull up in front of our house and my brother jumped out of it. That was a wonderful surprise but that was not the end of it. In the evening after a quick siesta my brother took my father for a drive and drove all the way to Amausi Airport. My sister-in-law who is posted in Mumbai took a direct flight to Lucknow to spend the Holidays with my parents. The surprise was not yet done because all of them reached home and gave my mother a wonderful surprise. My mom was so just as surprised and excited as was anticipated and that made the whole efforts taken by my brother and sis-in-law every bit worthwhile.
I was able to feel the happiness and love in the voice of my parents. They were so happy to have my brother close it them. My father had a beautiful ring to his laughter as he told me how my brother had surprised him and how my mother reacted. My sister-in-law sounded just as excited and happy because she knew and understood how much both of them mean to my parents. I was so happy for them and I miss being with them as I write this. I hope baba and ma always remain happy. On this auspicious occasion, I pray to God that baba-ma's children always make them proud and happy.

Unity in Diversity: with many faces.

2008-03-21T21:13:00.001-07:00

21st March: Today is an auspicious day religiously and for celestial reasons. God from all the major religions in the world had their plans. Most of India is celebrating their favourite festival, in one form or another. Hindus are celebrating their colourful festival of Holi which celebrates the inset of spring with colors. Muslims celebrate there Id-Ii-Milaad (Birth annivesary of Prophet Mohammad).
While Chistians practice their solemn holy Friday or as popularly known as Good Friday.
Inspite of varied reasons and sentiments its an important day in each of the religion.
The Hindus all over India will celebrate the festival of Holi for the whole weekend as the Christians celebrate their Easter Sunday. To me its like a merging and sharing of ones happiness.
why can not life be just as simple. Lets just find a reason to be happy even if we have diffrent reasons to smile lets just be happy and enjoy our happiness and share it with everyone.

2008-03-01T00:02:00.000-08:00

I have always have this urge to pen down my sentiments when I feel deluged under my emotions. In the past couple of years my life has changed drastically : From being a Graduate student one day, to a college lecturer, and again back to being an international graduate student, to my current status as a married house wife, and constantly being asked if I plan to join the work force. The last five years have been like an awesome roller coaster ride, that I have enjoyed immensely. I had a wonderful envious life being revered by students, a couple of years younger to me following me constantly to know how I had landed such a prestigious post so early in my career. Even in the comfort of the job, I wanted to pursue my higher studies in America. I took my GRE and TOEFL as I searched for universities that met my educational needs. During my stay in JNU as a Masters student of English I took interest in Immigrants Culture. SFSU was an excellent choice because it has one of the best faculties in Ethnic and Asian American Studies that concentrates on the lives of Asian Immigrants. Since my course was inter- disciplinary I was able to take course from other departments, namely, Women Studies, Anthropology and Sociology. The whole experience was enlightening for me since I was able to compare my experiences as a student in JNU, as a lecturer in Delhi University and as a Graduate International student. Reading academic books and writing weekly book reports was as staple as breathing. And then I meet “S” and all that I had mapped for myself took a back seat for a while, or at least that's what I believed it to be. But things happened with such speed since then: I graduated with my second Masters degree last summer and completed two years of marital bliss. While “S” received an American passport, I received my driver's licence and green-car.

And as I settle down in my new role as a housewife, I intend to chronicle my daily happenings that catch my attention and trigger my thoughts. Writing has always been an outlet for my sentiments but to be a part of the internet gives my personal journal a whole new dimension. The internet medium helps to expand my interests, thoughts and in the process meet like minded people with varying perceptions, who may be thousands of miles apart and whom I would never know in normal circumstances but here in the cyber world of personal journalism . I am looking forward to many sessions of wonderful conversations.

HAPPY DEEPAWALI

2007-11-09T15:55:00.000-08:00

Its time to forget foes and feuds,
for friends are fun.....

Today SH called from office and said the Mr. WHo had invited us to their house for Puja celebrations. I am surprised. I want to go. End the feud and crazy notions that have been nurtured among any closed door discussions. This is the same individual who, I had heard did not like SH because he left the company that who worked for and joined a better company (that would not hire Mr. who, although he would love to ;o) for a better position etc etc. Through sources I knew that Mr. Who spoke and wished ill for SH. That story has circulated for some six years now. S has done really well for himself. While B has been in the same place and same position all the while.
Last year when Mr. Who's son got married we were not invited for the celebrations. And I really did not care since what ever I knew was hearsay and had never met them. But in the last few months I have met Mrs. Who, couple of times. I have been cordial. I actually like her son's wife. (we have common friends and we often bump into each other in parties ... well, well!!!!) She had come up to me as I stood with my glass of mocha cocktail. I liked her instantly. When she came to know who I was and vise versa we both were at a loss of words. Then I met Mrs. Who again during Pujas and when I addressed her she looked as if she never expected me to talk to her. Well whatever.... I am wishing everyone and she is there.... If I don't wish her, all that my dad spent on my expensive residential schooling would really be a waste. Right!
Well, so we have been invited to their house. And SH will go to their place after 6-7 yrs. That feud must be something, I say!!!
But I am happy. In this new land that we are calling home we need to socialize and make friends. How will we ever know if one is right kind of person, that we would like to associate with, if we don't give them a chance. We could gel if we give each other a chance. So there, now I am happy that they asked us and hope that something nice comes out of it.
Diwali/Kali puja is an auspicious occasion and gives us hope. So i am looking forward to make a good beginning today.

Tonight Show

2007-08-03T00:43:00.000-07:00

In response to,
Tonight show, Jay Leno,
2nd Aug, 2007

I enjoy my daily dose of Jay Leno each night at 11:30pm after the news. But today he disappointed me. It was not something that anyone must take lightly who has even a shred of respect for ethnicity and culture. Probably people as ignorant as him in the media are the reason that many innocent lives were distorted post 9/11 when people attacked innocent Punjabi Sikh men because they thought they were Arabs or middle eastern. Tonight Jay Leno intended to make fun of science of cloning, celebrities, but as a result ended up making fun of common people who were going about their chores of the day. I have no idea where this has been shot but it is an offensive act. Making fun of people is fine if you are educated enough to make the difference between the right and the wrong. Cracking a joke is a very serious matter. You need to be sure of your act and your audience. Jay leno wanted to show a cloning of an old music band and if it was in the Middle East how they would look. In the process he ended up showing four Sikh men in there ethnic gears. It has irked me highly. If this kind of media portrayal were not done there would not have been such misunderstanding among common people regarding Sikhs.
Dear people, Sikhs are a separate religious sect that belongs to the northern region of India. They have their own state: The mighty state of Punjab. Please do not mix them with Middle Eastern people. If you care to notice it properly you will very easily see the difference. Firstly, they tie their turbans in a totally different fashion. They wear a weapon around their chest called, kirpan. They have beard and long hair, kesh. They wear an iron/steel bangle on their right hand called kara. Well, as easy as it gets they do not wear the long robes associated with the Middle Eastern men. The Punjabis wear kurtas and lose pants called salwars. At this point I am not sure if they have a colloquial term for it in their language or not. Well, people, it is always a good thing to be educating one selves about others. If you expect other to be respectful to you then it makes sense if you are sensitive to their feelings as well.
I feel sad at some people who think that they have the right to make fun of others because they consider themselves better among the rest. I ask them what gives them the right to poke fun and who laughs at them. Even if one person out there does not find the joke funny it kills the purpose of being a professional comedian, then his whole point of being out there is beaten. So even if I like you, Jay Leno. You have not done your homework. Such hue and cry about racial minority and still some ethnicities are ignored is a serious offense.

Lesson 1

2007-07-31T14:12:00.000-07:00

Last week as I was going about my after dinner cleaning, there was breaking news on Television. A father had forgotten his infant in the car seat and after seven hours the baby was found dead. The police did not arrest the individual. Instead he was taken to a psychiatrist. Most of the people were feeling sad and pity than accuse him for a gruesome act of ignorance. I guess people understood that he had been punished enough for his act of carelessness.
I did understand it because I knew first hand the pressures of the corporate world. I see under what pressure “S” juggles his work, MBA course and sharing the house chores with me. And we have already had a discussion on starting a family. With both of us being students, taking care of the house and then his office itself is a difficult chore. And the last week for “S” has been especially hectic. His boss had some personal work and so took leave for three day. I was very upset because that meant added work load for “S”. I was not much of help at home either. With my thesis deadline I did ask him to do much more than what is his share of work at home. I know he is under pressure.
Generally, as soon as “S” reaches his office he calls me. It is never a long call. But this time “S” had news. The infant who had died in the car last week was his boss’s nephew. That was the reason he had taken leave from office. This was closer than both of us had anticipated. When I had told “S” about the news earlier he has passed it with no comments. What could he say to a wife who gets bothered with every little thing? But this had hit closer to home. “S” and his boss are friends. The family is distorted and “S” is visibly shaken.
Similarly, last year one of “S” colleague’s went through tragic circumstances when he lost his young sister in a tragic accident. We read about the incident on a Bengali online news page, and indifferently commented on it as we went about our chores and the weekend. On Monday morning “S” called to inform that one of the victims was the sister of his colleague who had already left for Kolkata. In the coming days we saw his picture on the news. When he got back from India, “S” never asked him anything. His disoriented self was enough to understand his condition; he told me when i insisted on knowing.

How does life hit you in such vulnerable position, when you least expect it? A father who was about to leave his son in daycare forgets and goes straight for his office leaving the baby strapped in the car-seat in the SUV. A young brash group of students ignored the warnings of the flash flood but could not defy the fatal misadventure.
Who suffers the consequences, the deceased or the family that is left behind?
Initially, my first reaction was always to look at whose fault is it? But now I am wiser. I know that there is no point in fault finding. Instead we must learn the lesson that life wants us to learn. Be careful. Do not make rash decisions and do not let any of your emotions take control of your logics in such a way that it imbalances your capabilities.
Had the father not been so over-focused on his job at his office he would not have forgotten his responsibility towards his baby boy in the backseat.
Had the students been cautious instead reckless in their youth, they would have been there to make more adventure trips.

I Feel/Think So I Write

2007-07-30T15:24:00.000-07:00

My attempt at blogging is not new. When I was a young girl i understood them as journals. They were hand written and sometimes illustrated. My journey to journal writing begins at an early stage.

Every year in the month of December my father would give me the unused diaries from the past year. He made it to be an all important event. Now when I think back it was quite like the marketing stunt. While handing over the diaries that belonged to some fertilizer company or the bank that one of his friends worked for, he would ask us to keep it neat and clean because diaries were not easy to come by and to buy them is expensive. i had a big diary collection as a child but never of the current year.

I used the diaries for many reasons. I made notes of the home work that the teachers gave us for the vacations in my diary. I copied the list of craft items that I needed to buy for the coming semester. I took down the addresses of my friends to exchange letters during vacations. I also enjoyed just looking at the beautiful paintings and pictures between the pages and touch the glossy, smooth pages. I realized that my diaries were special because they were grown-up stuff, and of course I wanted to be one. But I was yet to discover what to do with them.

That year when I was struggling with my math’s and physics of class eight, I discovered Anne Frank. She took my whole class by madness. Everyone wanted to be like her, a great writer. At the time I was her age when she had started the diary. What if I died? No I rejected that silly notion. I was not a Jew and there were no Nazis in my Hostel. There were a few Hitlers, my teachers. The next year I did start my diary.

It was a struggle. I did not know how to address it. Dear diary, hey there, but I guess I had a poor imagination. I knew it could not hear me. The effort was abandoned. The next year I tried again. I was very depressed for some reason and I knew from somewhere that writing directs your anger towards being constructive. I did. It worked. So I wrote. Every time I was upset, I wrote. Every time I was sad I wrote. Every time I felt I had no one to talk to I wrote. And I wrote only during my vacations.

I abandoned my journals after 4 years of vacation writings. I was in class 11 and I wanted my own room. So the room that lead to the terrace was claimed as mine. It was small, hot and at the back of the house. But I did not care. I had used this room often to write away my anguish, to hide from everyone and read adult novels or just listen to my Walkman which my mother had “gifted” me after 2 years of pleadings. Now this would be my room. Well, I had to clean it first and out came my old journals from previous years. My love of reading lead me to read my creations. Mortified!!! Is that all I can say? I felt embarrassed of my own self. How could I be so naive, mean, silly, and disturbingly sensitive? I was mortified, humiliated and appalled by my outbursts on black and white. I read and then tore the wretched diaries. I also promised myself that I will never put such stuff on paper. I did but on writing pads that were disposed just as soon.

So the point that I make here is that. I can only write when I feel. I am unable to write about things which make little sense to me. And this is for my father who always believed that I am a good writer but I let my emotions rule me. They still do, they always will dad, but I have learnt to channel them. Through my writing I will connect with myself, my childhood and my relations with others. I like people, events, things that inspire me towards better. This blog is an attempt to save and celebrate everything that has made me who I am today.