Wednesday, July 2, 2008

I love my private space in the public eye....

... since it helps me reflect on myself.

After a long long time I got the time to sit and read some of my favorite blogs. And after some ages and ages I went to Mad Momma's blog. And read her angst on the popularity her blog has gained in the process restricted her freedom to express her inner desires as well as expansion of the free invitations to pathetic sadists who find it their birthright to keep going back to her blog time again, only to be their usual selves ie pathetic sadists. I mean when I don't like someone I prefer to avoid them, not keep knocking my face under their nose.
I feel all that, I mean I know a couple who are friends of some friends of MM, telling me that MM is mad. I mean really?? How do you know? Are you telling some other person, that I am mad too?? Let the answer be bygones but can you believe people discussing people whom they have not met?
I guess popularity makes you infamous. Like public opinion, saying, I hate Aishwarya (read- she is so successful while I am a failure), But I like Sushmita (read- because she was beaten by Aishwarya, and I know how that feels, because I know many who are happier and more successful than me). Well, I adore both since they are just awesome successful beauties. Can you imagine what a tragic scene it could be if you have people around you who have the chronic bad habit of mad mouthing?

My earliest experience of this was at college. I was new and when our hostel list was declared I agreed to share the room with the first girl I met. Her name was Jennifer and she was from Ranchi. I was happy. She was from St. Stephen's, History, here for a Masters in Internationals Studies. Quite impressive! I agreed. I have to confess I was very messy. I mean I had lived in a hostel but never shared rooms. In my residential school, we never really had to make beds, wash or iron clothes. There we had people who did that for us. So this was new and just a week old in my new room I was so freaky and messy. But when I would come back from my outing with my classmates or class. I would see my clothes all neatly piled and arranged for me. When I told this to my friends, they asked me to be careful. But, I did not worry. I was happy, I loved been taken care of, with someone who took care of all the tedious jobs and I had more time to sit and sip my chai, share plates full pakoras and spend late nights with friends under the starry nights.
A week after I got my room, my father came to visit me. He had brought 2 suitcases full of my clothes and other requirements. And my mother had sent me few thousand rupees, hidden in the suitcase which my father did not know. She had put it along with a pillowcase, in a jewelry pouch. My father had come directly from the station to meet me so I did not sit to check the stuff, left the suitcases under the bed and the keys in my drawer and went out with my father to the Guest House.
In the evening, when I came back the money was nowhere to be found. My clothes, that I had left to dry outside were folded neatly on my bed. There was also a note from Jennifer, informing me that she will not be back for the weekend. (she did not come back till Wednesday)
I called my mother, who has a strong intuition said that its my roommate. I could not point a finger on anyone But my gut kept telling me to talk to Jennifer. I did not want to spoil our relations, I liked her but still I had to do this, just to be sure? I confronted her. I thought maybe she would be angry with me and accuse me of being careless. But instead this girl gets on her knees and pleads me that she has not stolen the money and is not a thief. I was so taken aback by her reaction I could not say anything more to her. I went to the senior girls, for help. But this girl, cried and cried in front of everyone and asked me to spare her because she was not the culprit. I asked her to leave the room, instead, she said that since I was such a good roomie she does not want to go anywhere. But I tried with all my might, talked with the hostel proctor, the other officials and made her leave the room(I am very proud and stubborn). In the process I made a silly promise that I unbelievably kept(I am very silly). I would not tell people the real story. We agreed to say that we had differences therefore in mutual agreement she moved down the hall.
After a week, I had a new roommate. I instantly liked this girl. But she preferred to stay aloof and not talk to me at all. We lived like strangers for two months, not talking to each other. I did not care so much since I was always with my friends, the only time I was found in my room was to sleep. I did not even stay in my room to study since my new roomie was so disturbingly aloof.
But since we came back from holidays, we began to talk. God's plans are so beautiful. She turned out to be from Lucknow and we found that we had common friends. Now, she knew something about my background and past. She had heard some nice things about me this time. This time it was someone she knew and not a stranger, with no validity. The interaction grew, we found pleasant commonalities in our differences. And after quite a considerable time she told me that she had heard some bad rumors about me and dreaded to be my roommates.
The afternoon she came looking for the only room empty on our floor had she met Jennifer, the so called nice girl, from Ranchi, whose mother is a christian teacher and father a Bank Officer told my now room mate that I was a "bad girl" who went out with boys late at night for money. There are many terms to define and explain that. So I will not waste much space on my blog to explain those. Although, I can declare publicly, that this girl now works for some international NGO (and now we know why we have scams, with more than one people like this around). I know all this due to all the social websites like, Facebook and orkut, and common tags still trailing on.
Once my beloved roomie and I spoke openly about everything and by now she knew all my friends, girls and boys!! We became closer. We would always take our meals together and I really came to depend on her. We went shopping together, long walks but the best were the long, very long discussions we had always taking opposing sides. It was so much fun.

But this particular incident has taught me one lesson- Never to trust people at their face value. Just because they seem cool and with educational degrees, does not mean they are good human beings and trusting friends. In fact, I am not close to anyone who called themselves my friend but sympathised with that thief's, crocodile tears. Those I count as fair weather friends. Just because I don't cry does not mean that I am not hurt. I rarely cry when I am hurt. Guess, I am too shocked to cry.

So the lessons learnt-
1. Never be friends with people who enjoy bad mouthing others.
2. Avoid people who are too sweet on the face.
3. Always shoot your words straight even if it hurts the other person. If they do not understand your good intentions then its their lose.
4. Always keep your friends close to your heart.

The empty jewelery pouch was later put in my drawer. who would do that??

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