Temper tempests, marital blizzards and sweet moonlights

I love spices, all sorts of spices. But I seem to have a distinct talent for hot spices. I know, I am more known for my sweet tooth, gulab jamuns and tiramisus. But, then the kind of spice I, refer of here is the spice for life. I am short tempered, quick tempered or hot tempered. Whichever, is you preferred term to express it. There are not many who have had the (mis)fortune to witness my chilli hot tempers. Most people, friends and acquaintances are just imprecisely aware of my shears sharp tongue. Growing up my relatives would openly gossip about my quick wit, sharp tongue, dry humor, and fiery temper.

During, courting period, I would narrate to SH different episodes from my life (and my family) and the general family gossips about me. I did that just to make SH run from me. On the contrary, he found it endearing, which made me think of him as “A Brave Heart” and soon we were married. That is when the reality begins. He realized that all the episodes that he was listening and found so endearing, are now gradually becoming the part of his daily life.
We argue, get upset with each other and soon all is well. I mean, just like that. I get angry and the very next moment, I go to him absolutely oblivious that a moment ago I was determined never to talk to him let alone seek for acknowledgment. That was the routine until a week ago. Both of have been aware that we our argument frequency was at a rise. We have been bit stressed on that issue. I forget the reasons of why we have fought but never forget that we fought and were bitter towards each other. The rise in the number of such heart aches has been a concern, to both of us. But, can I help it? Just like the last one, this came one after the other.

I had organized a barbecue picnic with my friends we made plans the whole week, decided the menu and venue. All us girls we quite excited since its rarely that we get to meet nowadays. But one of my friends baby was unwell so we postponed it by a week. But middle of the week we had to cancel it because of SH’s extra class. I was already upset because this wasn’t the first time we had to cancel a get together. But this had been organized by me which made it personal. I was upset. Though grumpy I let it be. I reminded, he is trying his best to manage, work, MBA classes, the school work load as well as ME. Can I complain of ignorance? That was to be answered soon.

On Friday SH got home and we were having tea. I was my usual animated talkative self. I had made dhoklas for tea and was eager to tell him about the informational health book that I had got from the library on health. A few months ago we got the health scare of my hormonal disbalance caused primarily by my thyroid problems. Now, I could place my sudden weight issues, mood swings and alternate periods of vigor and fatigue. I have been looking for alternatives for medicines hence my interest in natural remedies and my eagerness to share it with the only person I have really talked to in the last three years. So, pardon my ruinous reaction when in the middle of my sentence I see him take an official call. That level of (lack) interest was so unexpected, it got to me, I shocked my own self by my (over) reaction but there was no looking back. There was no big fight, only because we had just got out of one some time ago. I made this issue a continuation of the one we had just resolved and the cold war began which lasted the whole weekend and bit more. So, the weekend consisted of no barbecue, no vacation shopping but ample time to finish Barbara Walters “Audition” which was some 578 pages of summary of the real autobiography. I loved reading the autobiography and missing someone a lot.

But, that’s the whole idea of fights and cold wars. When we reconcile, things look better than ever (at least for a few days). And you also learn something new about the Important One. Sometimes its pastries, sometimes tiramisu and this time it was a thorough cleaning of my grand old car. Quite a cute act which brought a smile and reminded me of the “Sangam” song “sab laye phool Buddha (actually a self proclaimed kid forever) gobi leke aa haya”.

Right now, all is fighting fit with wondrous excitement in my “serene abode”.

God, I pray please keep us this way.

Giant Ball Game

4th July - A Late Update

After almost 2 weeks of serious work n studying and 1 week of research work, almost to the brink of torture. I don't even want to see myself near a laptop for a while. But, I wanted to write about the 4th July fire works as well as the baseball game in the next post.
SH was quite intent on going to San Jose for the fireworks this year. For the last three years we had seen the ones in Mtn View, Foster City, and Tahoe. Each of them is just as special because all of them were on the lake and completely dark everywhere. The Tahoe Lake one was magical because we sat on the beach and buried ourselves to escape the cold zipped up in one jacket. Don't know how we did that but we wont be able to complete that feat now. And so that moment is frozen in memory.
This year we wanted to go to SFO, but then we felt lazy and decided to take the train to SJ downtown. The train trip itself was fun since this was the first time we took this route. We passed through every imaginable Silicon Valley company. The SJ crowd was mixed very diffrent from the usual crowds that I have encountered till now. Had a potential mob attitude as was reflective with a lot of Illigal fireworks.
Here are some pics from the trip.

NASA, Mtn View

A fraction of the fact

Reflective Sparks

Fiery and Fabulous

The video clips are here, here, and here of the fireworks.

Cap Ferrat

I have heard South of France is beautiful. This place is part of the French Riviera.

One of my friends just got back after holidaying in France and she promises that the whole romantic myth about France and Paris is not a myth at all.

Well, this is the France I want for myself. The Mediterranean has always fascinated me and I so want to visit the Greek islands, Sicily and the south of France.

This was an exciting week, in my kitchen as well as around me. I am keeping busy busy. I am hardly online nowadays. Busy with my books, work and everything else. The weather is beautiful, sunny and its hard to keep myself inside the house. Of coz it helps that I have started listening to books being read to me while I take my nature's walk.

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The past week was fun as well. On of SH's friends visited the bay area on work and his wife accompanied him. I like meeting new people. The next day we took a much needed walk, which turned out to be a long walk. Every time we crossed Crystal springs, I promised myself to come here for a run or a lazy picnic. But it was not happening for the last 3 years. At the same time I wanted to do some nature shots. I had not done that for a Long time and I really love love to capture the nature's beauty through the lens of my camera. Also, I must say, I have one of the best cameras an amateur can hope for. Its very intelligent and focus on things that I am thinking of. That's magical, isn't it?As soon as we got of the car we were able to spot the biggest deer that we have seen around the bay. And the first that I have ever captured on my camera. Well, we walked the walk!!I shot birds and bees. I mean Literally. Was one fabulous nature trip. In the end when we got back to our car we had walked 3 and a 1/2 miles. I was so so so tired and very very very happy.

Some memories not in words.

The view from where we parked our car.

A surprised stranger


A beautiful crane

A Blue Finch (I think)

A feast captured

But the best shot is here!---------------------------------------------------

Monday- was busy with the dentist trip. I am interested in braces at this old age. hehehehe!!
Tuesday- I spent the whole day in the library working. I love it there.
Today, had been a nice day too since I connected with a friend after a long time and looking forward to see her tomorrow. Also, I want to catch this cute movie that's releasing tomorrow.
Jaane Tu Yaa Jaane Na.... Imran Khan, is such a cutie and the girl is such a beauty.
Probably will go hiking too. So it maybe sometime since I see you. I am trying to keep a notebook now. Because I have been talking a lot to myself and some great ideas are coming to me when the laptop is not reachable.

I love my private space in the public eye....

... since it helps me reflect on myself.

After a long long time I got the time to sit and read some of my favorite blogs. And after some ages and ages I went to Mad Momma's blog. And read her angst on the popularity her blog has gained in the process restricted her freedom to express her inner desires as well as expansion of the free invitations to pathetic sadists who find it their birthright to keep going back to her blog time again, only to be their usual selves ie pathetic sadists. I mean when I don't like someone I prefer to avoid them, not keep knocking my face under their nose.
I feel all that, I mean I know a couple who are friends of some friends of MM, telling me that MM is mad. I mean really?? How do you know? Are you telling some other person, that I am mad too?? Let the answer be bygones but can you believe people discussing people whom they have not met?
I guess popularity makes you infamous. Like public opinion, saying, I hate Aishwarya (read- she is so successful while I am a failure), But I like Sushmita (read- because she was beaten by Aishwarya, and I know how that feels, because I know many who are happier and more successful than me). Well, I adore both since they are just awesome successful beauties. Can you imagine what a tragic scene it could be if you have people around you who have the chronic bad habit of mad mouthing?

My earliest experience of this was at college. I was new and when our hostel list was declared I agreed to share the room with the first girl I met. Her name was Jennifer and she was from Ranchi. I was happy. She was from St. Stephen's, History, here for a Masters in Internationals Studies. Quite impressive! I agreed. I have to confess I was very messy. I mean I had lived in a hostel but never shared rooms. In my residential school, we never really had to make beds, wash or iron clothes. There we had people who did that for us. So this was new and just a week old in my new room I was so freaky and messy. But when I would come back from my outing with my classmates or class. I would see my clothes all neatly piled and arranged for me. When I told this to my friends, they asked me to be careful. But, I did not worry. I was happy, I loved been taken care of, with someone who took care of all the tedious jobs and I had more time to sit and sip my chai, share plates full pakoras and spend late nights with friends under the starry nights.
A week after I got my room, my father came to visit me. He had brought 2 suitcases full of my clothes and other requirements. And my mother had sent me few thousand rupees, hidden in the suitcase which my father did not know. She had put it along with a pillowcase, in a jewelry pouch. My father had come directly from the station to meet me so I did not sit to check the stuff, left the suitcases under the bed and the keys in my drawer and went out with my father to the Guest House.
In the evening, when I came back the money was nowhere to be found. My clothes, that I had left to dry outside were folded neatly on my bed. There was also a note from Jennifer, informing me that she will not be back for the weekend. (she did not come back till Wednesday)
I called my mother, who has a strong intuition said that its my roommate. I could not point a finger on anyone But my gut kept telling me to talk to Jennifer. I did not want to spoil our relations, I liked her but still I had to do this, just to be sure? I confronted her. I thought maybe she would be angry with me and accuse me of being careless. But instead this girl gets on her knees and pleads me that she has not stolen the money and is not a thief. I was so taken aback by her reaction I could not say anything more to her. I went to the senior girls, for help. But this girl, cried and cried in front of everyone and asked me to spare her because she was not the culprit. I asked her to leave the room, instead, she said that since I was such a good roomie she does not want to go anywhere. But I tried with all my might, talked with the hostel proctor, the other officials and made her leave the room(I am very proud and stubborn). In the process I made a silly promise that I unbelievably kept(I am very silly). I would not tell people the real story. We agreed to say that we had differences therefore in mutual agreement she moved down the hall.
After a week, I had a new roommate. I instantly liked this girl. But she preferred to stay aloof and not talk to me at all. We lived like strangers for two months, not talking to each other. I did not care so much since I was always with my friends, the only time I was found in my room was to sleep. I did not even stay in my room to study since my new roomie was so disturbingly aloof.
But since we came back from holidays, we began to talk. God's plans are so beautiful. She turned out to be from Lucknow and we found that we had common friends. Now, she knew something about my background and past. She had heard some nice things about me this time. This time it was someone she knew and not a stranger, with no validity. The interaction grew, we found pleasant commonalities in our differences. And after quite a considerable time she told me that she had heard some bad rumors about me and dreaded to be my roommates.
The afternoon she came looking for the only room empty on our floor had she met Jennifer, the so called nice girl, from Ranchi, whose mother is a christian teacher and father a Bank Officer told my now room mate that I was a "bad girl" who went out with boys late at night for money. There are many terms to define and explain that. So I will not waste much space on my blog to explain those. Although, I can declare publicly, that this girl now works for some international NGO (and now we know why we have scams, with more than one people like this around). I know all this due to all the social websites like, Facebook and orkut, and common tags still trailing on.
Once my beloved roomie and I spoke openly about everything and by now she knew all my friends, girls and boys!! We became closer. We would always take our meals together and I really came to depend on her. We went shopping together, long walks but the best were the long, very long discussions we had always taking opposing sides. It was so much fun.

But this particular incident has taught me one lesson- Never to trust people at their face value. Just because they seem cool and with educational degrees, does not mean they are good human beings and trusting friends. In fact, I am not close to anyone who called themselves my friend but sympathised with that thief's, crocodile tears. Those I count as fair weather friends. Just because I don't cry does not mean that I am not hurt. I rarely cry when I am hurt. Guess, I am too shocked to cry.

So the lessons learnt-
1. Never be friends with people who enjoy bad mouthing others.
2. Avoid people who are too sweet on the face.
3. Always shoot your words straight even if it hurts the other person. If they do not understand your good intentions then its their lose.
4. Always keep your friends close to your heart.

The empty jewelery pouch was later put in my drawer. who would do that??